8 Potential Jobs for Locked Out NBA Stars

With the NBA players and owners seemingly as far apart as ever from reaching a contract agreement and ending the lockout, many players and even some coaches are scrambling to find new jobs that utilize their on-court skills in useful, productive ways off the court. Let’s take a look at which jobs some of the league’s biggest stars have landed so far.

8. Dirk Nowitzki — Bus Driver

Job Requirements: Built like a bus, able to carry large numbers of people one’s his back and strength with multiple languages.

7. Ray Allen — Plumber

Job Requirements: An understanding of complex diagrams and a natural ability to send more rain down the drain than anyone, ever.

6. Mike Brown — Male Nurse

Job Requirements: Strong problem solving and an ability to tactfully deal with high-maintenance, troubled patients.

5. Carmelo Anthony — Farmer

Job Requirements: A green thumb and experience with nuggets.

4. Metta World Peace aka. Ron Artest — Circus Clown

Job Requirements: Prone to eccentric, wild behavior and a compulsive need to be the center of attention.

3. Chris “Bird Man” Andersen — Janitor

Job Requirements: Strong ability to mop up messy situations on the floor and around sloppy buckets.

2. Steve Nash — Drive-thru Attendant

Job Requirements: Accuracy and speedy order distribution while assisting customers and dishing out lunch.

1. Kobe Bryant — Tiger Woods’ Caddy

Job Requirements: Clutch finisher with Intimate knowledge of every hole and what shots to make in sticky situations.