Now that Movember 2011 has officially come to an end, I thought it would be a good time to take stock of the best charity mustaches from the world of pro sports. However, as I starting looking around, it became apparent that—just as with playoff beards—no other league can compete with the NHL when it comes to rocking awesome Movember lip hair. So my task quickly turned to assessing the best hockey mustaches form the past month.
Here are the results. They are pretty impressive, and I suspect they’ll be even better next year. So keep up the good work, guys.
We start off the with compulsory trash stash portion of today’s presentation. And here we have San Jose’s Brent Burns rocking it pretty good. I especially like the way he compliments the trash stash with a camouflage t-shirt. It’s the little details that make all the difference.
15. Brent Burns (San Jose Sharks)
Hey, Sidney Crosby may have been out for most of Movember while he got back into shape after a lengthy concussion recovery; but as you can see here, there wasn’t anything wrong with his trash stash-growing abilities. He was sporting this baby in his first game back and I think it probably distracted the Islanders, because they let Sid walk all over them.
14. Sidney Crosby (Pittsburgh Penguins)
One of the best things about Movember is that guys get creative and cultivate facial hairstyles they normally wouldn’t even consider. Then again, I don’t know the Lightning’s Nate Thompson personally, so I probably shouldn’t make assumptions about his fashion sensibilities. Maybe he would consider wearing a Fu Manchu under normal circumstances.
13. Nate Thompson (Tamba Bay Lightning)
Penguins coach Dan Bylsma had the best mustache among the NHL’s coaches, in my opinion. Well, at least among those who don’t normally wear mustaches—Chicago’s Joel Quenville regularly wears a pretty nice, bushy stache. Strangely, Ken Hitchcock, who we are used to seeing with a nice mustache, made his return to the NHL (in St. Louis) this month with a bare upper lip. I guess if you normally have a mustache, you raise money for men’s cancer research by shaving everyday.
12. Dan Bylsma (Pittsburgh Penguins)
Dallas center Vernon Fiddler grew a nice mustache this month, suggesting that he may have a career in trucking when his playing days are done. All he needs to complete the look is a trucker hat. (You know, the ones people were wearing ironically about 8 years ago.)
11. Vernon Fidler (Dallas Stars)
I had heard that Islanders phenom John Tavares had a pretty good Movember stache. But when I starting looking for proof of this, I came across this photo of Tavares (right) talking to teammate Matt Moulson (left). And no offense Tavares, who made a solid effort, but it is clearly Moulson who has the better Movember facial hair.
10. Matt Moulson (New York Islanders)
Desert Dogs defenseman Keith Yandle definitely had the best Movember mustache on his team. But he didn’t get cocky about it. He gave the credit to his dad for passing on good lip hair genes.
9. Keith Yandle (Phoenix Coyotes)
Holy hell, Jarome Iginla has the scariest Movember mustache on this list. That thin lip-liner is just terrifying. If anyone was sad that the month had come to an end, they aren’t now. (I’m sure this is especially true of Jarome’s wife, Kara.)
8. Jarome Iginla (Calgary Flames)
Who knew the baby-faced (or as the anti-Price crowd would say, the crybaby-faced) Carey Price could grow such a manly pornstar mustache? I’ve always been sympathetic to Price. He’s got a tough gig as starting goalie for the most unforgiving fanbase in hockey. (It’s like playing third base for the Yankees.) This mustache only makes me like him more.
7. Carey Price (Montreal Canadiens)
The Flyers’ Claude Giroux grew a nice “Three Muskateers” style mustache this Movember. In doing so, he morphed from a pretty suave cat into a greasy douche. It’s amazing how much a little lip hair can do, no?
6. Claude Giroux (Philadelphia Flyers)
Cal Clutterbuck of the Minnesota Wild is known for having exciting facial hair (and the most ridiculous name in professional sports). He went with a simpler look for Movember, and I think he really pulled it off—though with that hipster hairstyle he looks more like the guy who makes my espressos than a pro hockey player.
5. Cal Clutterbuck (Minnesota Wild)
Bruins goalie Tim Thomas may be the most likable guy in the NHL (no matter what Roberto Luongo thinks). This awesome mustache only makes him more likable.
4. Tim Thomas (Boston Bruins)
With this beauty, Winnipeg Jets winger Kenndal McArdle wins the award for best Movember pornstache. I mean, that there is just a damn fine piece of facial hair.
3. Kenndal McArdle (Winnipeg Jets)
And the award for Best Dave Babych Movember Tribute goes to...Montreal Canadiens winger Erik Cole. Congratulations, Erik. To even have your mustache mentioned in the same sentence as the legendary stache of Dave Baych is quite an honor. So you’re welcome.
2. Erik Cole (Montreal Canadiens)
Whoa, hey, look at that. Coming in at #1 on this list of best NHL Movember mustaches is not a hockey player but a hockey reporter. Specifically, it’s TSN’s Jay Onrait (pictured on the left with Dan O'Toole on the right). Now, some of you might object that Jay Onrait isn’t really a hockey reporter. He’s a sports anchor who covers all sports. To that I say, he works on a national sports network in Canada. That essentially makes him a hockey reporter who also covers other sports. Also, I’m writing the article, so I make the rules. And Onrait’s Movember mustache is a beautiful Ron Burgundy-esque masterpiece that must be recognized. So there you have it. Congratulations, Jay. (Sorry, Dan. Thanks for playing.)