13 Sexiest Spring Break Sports
Every year at this time, every college student on every college campus in America has his or her mind on only one thing: March Madness. And I’m not talking about the basketball tournament. Only 68 schools get to participate in that. No, I’m talking about the other kind of March Madness: spring break. It’s right around the corner. In fact, for some lucky students, spring break might already be here.
Since we here at Total Pro Sports never pass up a chance to celebrate the holidays, today we bring you a list the will put everyone—whether you’re in college or not—in the spring break spirit. So sit back and enjoy this list of the 13 Sexiest Spring Break Sports.
This sport definitely isn't for beginners. If you want to try it, you'll probably have to learn how to wakeboard and parasail first. But once you master those two sports, you can look totally awesome parasail wakeboarding up and down the shore, showing off for all your friends. (You'll be even more impressive if you're as hot at the girl in this photo.)
13. Parasail Wakeboarding
For some reason, paddleball has been a standard beach activity for years. To be honest, I don't know what's so exciting. Unlike other beach sports (like beach volleyball, soccer, or frisbee) people don't play paddleball anywhere else—which would seem to suggest it's not all that fun. But for some reason, when you throw in sand, water, and swimsuits, paddleball becomes entertaining.
I usually think of kayaking as something sporty outdoorsy types who drive Subarus and live in Oregon do on rivers and streams. But you can also do it in calm, tropical climates...while wearing bikinis. So it's a pretty versatile sport.
I'm pretty sure this dumb aquatic activity was just invented by celebrity publicists so their clients could be "secretly" photographed by paparazzi while taking their biannual tropical vacations. I mean, I'm glad beautiful women seem to enjoy this activity, but it's not something I'm interesting in doing. You're not in the water, you're going slow, and you have to stand the whole time. So it's neither exciting nor relaxing. The only reason to go paddleboarding would be to show off your sexy beach bod.
Most spring breakers will probably be too wasted and/or hungover to go sailing. (It's hard to tie an anchor hitch knot when you're gross motor skills are impaired.) But I'm sure some rich kids who can really hold their liquor will spend some time on daddy's sloop next week. And I'm sure they will look hot doing it.
Some people may wonder, is cliff jumping a sport? To that I say, you have to climb to the top of the cliff, don't you? And if you throw in an aerial summersault? Well then yeah, it's totally a sport.
8. Cliff Jumping
Doctors and fitness experts say swimming is one of the best forms of exercise. Unfortunately, if you do it while drinking a rum and coke, that probably negates the health benefits (even if it is more fun that way).
Beach volleyball is probably the sexiest pro sport of all time. No other sport provides the sexiness trifecta of sand, sweat, and bikinis. Amateurs playing beach volleyball? It's not quite as sexy as when the pros do it, but it's still pretty great.
6. Beach Volleyball
People do lots of things in bikinis. So what is it that makes surfing so particularly sexy?
Is it the fact that surfer girls tend to have especially hot bodies? Is it the mystique of surfing itself?
These are not rhetorical questions. I really don't have any answers and I want someone to tell me.
You take a woman with a gorgeous body and place her in the vicinity of a motor vehicle, the sexiness is increased by a factor of ten. I'm not entirely sure how the science works, but it has something to do with thrust and torque and velocity and power. So obviously, jet skiing would be one of the sexiest spring break sports.
4. Jet Skiing
A hot woman in a neoprene scuba suit is pretty sexy. If you replace the suit with a bikini, obviously, it's even sexier...though I imagine all those straps might start to chafe after a while. Maybe you should stick to snorkelling if you don't want to wear the rubber suit. (You'll still look pretty sexy.)
3. Scuba Diving
Regular old Yoga is one of the sexiest athletic activities ever devised. You do it in a bikini, on the beach, with all that water and sand? Yeah, that pretty much breaks the sexiness scale.
2. Beach Yoga
Everybody loves soccer chicks. They're sporty and sexy at the same time. So it's a given that girls playing soccer on the beach in bikinis would be a winner. And it is. Beach soccer takes the #1 spot on our list of sexiest spring break sports.