Everyone loves mascots. This is especially true when your team sucks, and some zany stunt from an anthropomorphized lion or erotic banana is the only excitement you’re going to see all night. But while some mascots are world famous for their comedic shenanigans—like the Philly Phanatic, or the San Diego Chicken—most teams aren’t that lucky. They have to deal with idiot mascots screwing up stunts, tripping over their own feet, pissing off celebrities, inflicting serious injuries, or pretending to rape other mascots on live television. Of course, these mascot fails are funny in their own way, but I’m sure teams would prefer for fans to laugh with their mascots rather than laugh at their mascots.
Today, we’re celebrating the crappy mascots of the world by presenting you with a list of 20 mascot fail gifs. Sure, they may not be comedic geniuses, but at least they give us something to mock.
I’m not sure what kind of cat this is supposed to be. Could be a lion. Could be a cougar. Either way, this stunt was a bad idea from conception to execution. (Is that a pilates ball he tries to jump on?)
20. Cat mascot dunk failure
Poor Benny. He’s trying so hard to show off for Mr. Beyonce, but he’s just not having it. Meanwhile, it appears that P-Diddy Dirty Puffy Money Combs, or whatever he’s called now, isn’t even phased by Benny. He seems to be giving a “hey whassup baby” nod to a Bulls cheerleader.
19. Jay-Z: not impressed
Obviously, this bit is planned, so it isn’t really a fail. But I like to play fast and loose with definitions, and since the cheerleader pretends like she doesn’t want to be eaten by the mascot, it counts as a fail. (Really, I just think it’s cool and wanted to put it on the list.)
18. Mascot eats cheerleader
It looks like Clutch, the Houston Rockets’ mascot, was trying to run off the court and up into the stands when a poor unsuspecting popcorn vendor wandering into his path. That, or Clutch hates popcorn.
17. Rockets mascot HATES popcorn
Who left this banana peel on the stairs?
16. Giant raptor takes a spill
This Jamaican track and field athlete decides to celebrate a successful race by taking a victory lap on the back of a mascot. Obviously, this was a mistake. But hey—you live, you learn.
15. Never ride a drunk mascot
If this bear had asked me, “should I got sledding down the stadium stairs?” I would have said no. Definitely do not do that. But he didn’t ask me, and how his neck is broken.
14. Another bad idea
You see, when you do this stunt, the table is supposed to break in half. That way, the entire impact of the guy’s elbow is not absorbed by the victims rib cage. Obviously, these guys should just stick to antagonizing opposing fans and leave the wrestling moves to the pros.
13. Why mascots aren’t in WWE
For some reason, people think a mascot head provides total protection from blows and falls. I seriously doubt this is the case, and would bet this poor panda guy had one hell of a headache for a few days after this one.
12. Standing panda + basketball to face = lying down panda
I’m guessing whoever takes care of the Georgia Bull Dogs bull dog has a life-sized dummy dressed in a Clemson uniform. I’m also guess that this person routinely puts doggie treats on the dummy’s crotch.
11. The Georgia Bull Dog attacks
This inflatable mascot already looks pretty goofy. He only makes things worse by running out onto the court like a spaz and does a total face plant right in front of everybody.
10. Another fail from the Toronto Raptors mascot
Lesson: do not antagonize Sir Charles. He don’t mess around with no mascots.
9. Sir Charles gives a left hook
My favorite part of this one is the way the poor horse is writhing around on the ground in pain afterwords. Just goes to show that he was not expecting this flying karate kick from Mr. Cheetah.
8. Cheetah knows karate
The Oregon Ducks and Houston Cougars aren’t even in the same conference. Why there is so much animosity between their mascots, I have no idea. But it is hilarious.
7. Duck v. Cougar
Am I crazy, or did that bear tell that kid to go kick the tree in the nuts?
(Is that the weirdest sentence you’ve ready all week?)
6. Game of musical chairs gets out of hand
Why did the Cavaliers have a mascot with a giant globe for a head at one of their games? And why did the giant globe-head mascot whack the ref in the back of the head with a headbutt? That looks like it probably really hurt.
5. Mascot takes out ref
This minor league mascot—a wolf? a fox?—learns the hard way: be careful where you imitate Michael Jackson.
On a side note, any guesses on what the hell is that big red blob supposed to be?
4. Watch where you moonwalk
Suppose this poor girl was really dumb and actually did flash her boobs to the crowd. Would the Philly Phanatic have been fired, or would he have received a raise? (Keep in mind, we’re talking about Philadelphia here, where fans throw batteries on the field, beat each other to death, and intentionally vomit on little girls.)
3. Philly Phanatic: pervert
It’s funny to scare little kids...unless those little kids take karate.
Well, actually, it’s still funny if the kids take karate. Just in a very different kind of way.
2. Rockets mascot scares the wrong kid
Someone needs to tell this giant crab that “no” means “no.”
Also, someone needs to tell that little brown bird that his pants fell off and his butt crack is showing.
And, finally, someone needs to tell whoever designed that bird mascot that they didn’t need to give it a butt crack.