Today’s pro athletes make a ton of money. However, we all know that money doesn’t buy happiness, and Lord knows it certainly doesn’t buy you and common sense or self control. In fact, if anything money seems to make certain athletes feel like they are invincible and can do no wrong. And it’s always these guys that get wasted, trash a Denny’s, and wind up with their mugshots on TMZ.
Personally, I love athlete mugshots. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I think it’s because, whenever an athlete gets into trouble, I think, “well, I don’t get paid millions of dollars, and I’m not married to a supermodel, but at least I’ve never been arrested at the airport for trying to carry a bag of weed on a flight to Newark.”
In any case, today, in honor of a certain member of the Oakland Raiders, we’re going to take a look at some of the great mugshots in sports history. Take a look, and enjoy the smug feeling of superiority.
This is from Charles Barkely's December 2008 DUI arrest—you know, the one where he told the police "I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b*** job," and then told the cop to admit that the woman who was in his car was hot.
Nice, right? If this happened to you, there's no way you'd be employed at all, let alone as an "analyst" for a national sports broadcast.
35. Charles Barkely (DUI)
Why is Scottie Pippen flashing such a nice smile? Probably because he knows that as a famous pro athlete, he'll probably get off with just a warning.
Of course, he did. Prosecutors declined to press charges after his 1999 DUI arrest.
34. Scottie Pippen (DUI)
Of course, Ray Lewis was never convicted for murder. But he definitely used his "persecution" as a way to motivate himself for the rest of his career.
33. Ray Lewis (Murder)
Why the smile on Mayweather's face? Well, for one thing, his nickname is "Pretty Boy," and the guy has to live up to it. But more importantly, this particular mugshot was from an arrest for petty larceny after his girlfriend accused him of stealing her iPhone. And after a guy has been arrested multiple times for domestic battery and assault, petty larceny doesn't seem so bad.
32. Floyd Mayweather Jr.
Marshawn Lynch looks so dejected because he just learned they don't have an Skittles in jail.
31. Marshawn Lynch (DUI)
Arianny Lopez, better known as UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste, was arrested (along with her boyfriend) after a domestic dispute turned ugly back in May of 2012. He said she kicked him in the nose and threw a vase at him; she says he put his hands around her back.
Of course, with little evidence, the charges were eventually dropped.
30. Arianny Celeste (Domestic Violence)
This WWE star was arrested along with fellow wrestler Greg "Hurricane" Helms in 2010. The reason? They were wasted and arguing with each other at a Shell gas station somewhere in Kentucky. (Sounds like a typical Saturday night to me, but whatever.)
29. Chris Jericho (Public Intoxication)
Back in 2002, Iverson was turned himself in when a warrant was issued for gun and assault charges—which were later dismissed by a local judge.
28. Allen Iverson (Gun Possession and Assault)
Before Josh Hamilton got his life back together in 2008, the guy apparently went on a drunken rampage to commemorate his 24th birthday in 2005. He punched the windshield and tore the rear-view mirror off of his friend's car.
Apparently whoever took his mugshot down at the police station used to work at Glamor Shots.
27. Josh Hamilton (Misdemeanor Property Damage)
Just two weeks after being arrested for domestic violence, the WWE's Lex Luger was arrested again bac in 2003 when police found—surprise, surprise—illegal bodybuilding drugs in his home.
26. Lex Luger (Drug Possession)
Lawrence Taylor may be one of the all-time NFL greats, but that doesn't keep the guy from getting into trouble. The mugshot on the left is from a 2009 arrest for a suspected hit and run. The mugshot on the right is from a 2010 arrest for paying a 16-year-old girl for sex.
Notice how he seems to be wearing the same shirt. Apparently, when the guy knows he's going to get arrested, he goes and changes into his "jail" shirt.
25. Lawrence Taylor (Hit and Run and Statutory Rape)
That is the look of a man thinking, "Meh, prison won't be so bad. At least I'll have a roof over my head and three meals a day."
24. Dontrelle Willis (DUI)
The Nature Boy got arrested back in 2005 after being accused of strangling another motorist in a road rage incident.
Road rage? From a professional wrestler? That's ridiculous.
23. Ric Flair (Misdemeanor Assault)
Mr. The Giant (real name Andre Roussimoff) was arrested in Iowa back in 1989 after he roughed up a local camera man.
22. Andre the Giant (Assault)
Braylon looks pretty calm and collected here. I bet he knows he'll get off without jail time, and that he can easily afford the $50,000 fine that the NFL will eventually lay on him.
21. Braylon Edwards (DUI)
Dennis Rodman was arrested back in 1999 for allegedly assaulting his then wife, Carmen Electra.
I don't know for sure, but I assume the argument all started when Rodman accused Carmen of using his eyeliner.
20. Dennis Rodman (Domestic Violence)
When you're a superstar, you don't let little things like getting arrested for drunk driving ruin your day. All you have to do is call your lawyer, do some community service, and make a public apology to your teammates and fans, and it all goes away.
19. Miguel Cabrera (DUI)
In 2002, Randy Moss was arrested after "driving his car into" a traffic agent. It really wasn't that serious of a traffic situation. The guy was really arrested just for being a d**k.
18. Randy Moss (Careless Driving)
If every dude who got sh*tfaced and passed out at a Hooters went to jail, there wouldn't be any room left for all the murderers and drug dealers.
17. John Daly (Public Intoxication)
Michael Irvin was arrested for drug possession on three different occasions. Obviously, at some point, you just say to hell with it and crack a big smile.
16. Michael Irvin (Drug Possession)
Carmelo tried to look like a badass for his mugshot.
15. Carmelo Anthony (DUI)
St. Louis Cardinals play-by-play man Dan McLaughlin was arrested not once but twice for drunk driving charges. I couldn't decide which mugshot was better, so I included them both.
(Incidentally, the guy seems to have really cleaned his life up since then. When I googled him to get the scoop on these shots I came across an article that said he went off the sauce and lost a bunch of weight.)
14. Dan McLaughlin (DUI)
This is the (crazy bug-eyed) mugshot from when Jason Kidd was arrested for alleged domestic abuse in 1997 during his marriage to Joumana Kidd.
13. Jason Kidd (Domestic Abuse)
...and this is Jason Kidd's (somber, remorseful) mugshot from his DUI in 2010.
12. Jason Kidd (DUI)
The guy can't open his eyes for the mugshot, but he had no problem unzipping his pants to show his junk to a female motel employee in Memphis back in December of 1998.
11. Big Show (Indecent Exposure)
Denver Broncos RB Laurence Maroney was arrested in St. Louis in 2011 after cops pulled him over outside a Rick Ross concert and found a gun, some weed, and this absolutely amazing Pippi Longstocking hairdo.
10. Laurence Maroney (Weapons and Drug Possession)
Based on this photo, would you say Ricky Williams was drunk or high when he was arrested?
Actually, it was both.
9. Ricky Williams (DUI)
Deion Sanders was arrested in Florida in 1996 for trespassing.
What was he doing? He was fishing on a lake owned by the Southwest Florida International Airport.
8. Deion Sanders (Trespassing)
The late great Kirby Puckett was arrested for sexual assault and false imprisonment in 2002 after a woman accused him of pulling her into a bathroom and groping her.
That incident led to this mugshot. I assume his eye being shut has something to do with the glaucome that left him blind on the right side and ended his career. But you have to admit, this is still pretty funny picture.
7. Kirby Puckett (Sexual Assault)
Before he became a professional wrestler, Booker T did some hard time for armed robbery in the late 80s.
6. Booker T (Armed Robbery)
There were a lot of Mike Tyson mugshots to choose from, but this one from 2006 was the obvious choice.
5. Mike Tyson (DUI and Drug Possession)
Here's the recent mugshot that inspired this list. Thank you, Desmond Bryant.
4. Desmond Bryant (Criminal Mischief)
From the #2 pick in the 1998 NFL draft to a drug addict breaking into homes in Great Falls, Montana, looking for pills.
Ryan Leaf bums me out.
3. Ryan Leaf (Burglary)
You see, O.J. looks all cool and confident. He's like, hey, I beat the murder charge. I can beat armed robbery, too.
2. O.J. Simpson (Armed Robbery)
Speaking of that murder charge, back in 1994, O.J. Simpson produced what just might be the scariest, saddest, most iconic mugshot in the history of mugshots after being arrested for murdering Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ronald Goldman—which he totally did not do.