Did you hear the big news yesterday? Tiger Woods is dating Lindsey Vonn!
Actually, it’s not really news. We told you about that way back in January. But now it’s official, because Tiger announced it on his Facebook page along with some photographs of the sports superstars just hanging out like a regular couple—a regular couple who announces their relationship by posting pics shot by a professional photographer.
In any case, Lindsey Vonn is one of the most desirable female athletes in the world (taking into account her success on the slopes and her natural good looks), so she will definitely upgrade Tiger’s image. That being said, we can’t help but wonder where Lindsey ranks on the long list of women with whom her golfer BF has been associated over the last several years. You know—all the strippers and porn stars and cocktail waitresses and aspiring models?
Today, therefore, we’re going to take a look all of Tiger’s recent “girlfriends” and see how Lindsey Vonn stacks up. I’m guessing she’ll stack up pretty well, but don’t take my word for it. Take a look for yourself.
Well, somebody had to come in last, and Mindy Lawton is that somebody. The 37-year-old Florida waitress met Tiger back in 2006 at the diner where she worked. Pretty soon, despite the fact that both of them were already hitched, they were meeting up for regular romps in a variety of locations—e.g., inside Tiger's Escalade parked on a Church parking lot. Their "relationship" lasted about a year. Obviously, it was not exclusive.
15. Mindy Lawton
Coming in at #14 is one of three adult film actresses on the list: Devon James. Actually, adult film actress doesn't quite cut it. This Floridian likes to refer to herself as a "Porn Queen." But whatever. The point is, James says she had a two-and-a-half year affair with Tiger that began in 2006 when he paid her $2,000 to get busy with him and another woman. How'd they "meet"? Tiger found her online listing for "companionship services."
Talk about romantic!
14. Devon James
Jamie here was a 21-year-old lingerie model living in Vegas when she met Tiger Woods at a nightclub. He called her over to his table, they hung out, they went to party with friends back at his MGM Grand suite, and...well, you know. They then "dated" for a year and a half until Jungers said she broke it off—because Tiger wouldn't "help her out" of a little financial jam.
Oh, it's not what you think, though. She wasn't trying to extort him. According to Ms. Jungers, the fact that he wouldn't help her out just showed her how little she meant to him.
13. Jamie Jungers
Apparently Tiger was "dating" Florida Cougar (she's in her late 40s) both before and after he got married. This picture is obviously a little dated, but you can see why Tiger might have been attracted to this older woman.
12. Theresa Rogers
Joclyn James is the second of the three porn actresses on the list, and no, I don't think she is related to #14 Devon James. You might recognize her from such films as Cougar Prowl, Top Heavy 4, and The 11th Hole—a title obviously inspired by her 2009 fling with Tiger.
11. Joclyn James
Raychel Coudriet is not an adult film actress or a lingerie model, or anything like that. She was just a typical 21-year-old college student back in 2009—a typical 21-year-old college student who's dad was Tiger Woods' neighbor in Orlando.
Apparently Raychel was only outed as a Tiger Woods mistress after she confronted him about treating her like just another conquest. I guess she should have let bygones be bygones.
10. Raychel Coudriet
Jamie Grubbs was a cocktail waitress and a contestent on some reality show when she hooked up with Woods. If she stands out to you among all these women, it's probably because she's the one who kept the incriminating voicemail from Tiger and leaked it to the media.
9. Jamie Grubbs
Tiger met Julie Postle when she was working as a cocktail waitress at the Roxy Night Club in Orlando back in 2004. According to the mother of one of her roommates—which sounds like a totally reliable source to me—Tiger was really obsessed with her for a while. According to the guy she was dating when Tiger came along, Julie now lives in Texas.
8. Julie Postle
Porn star Holly Sampson and a bunch of her porn star friends were hired to "work" Tiger's bachelor party, and according the Sampson, that was the first time they hooked up. Classy stuff. However, she later claimed that she never slept with him after he was married. You know, because that would have been wrong.
7. Holly Sampson
As you can see from this magazine cover, club manager/promotor Kalika Moquin is one of the most influential people in Vegas nightlife. She reportedly met Tiger at his Vegas hotel in October of 2009 and had a brief fling.
6. Kalika Moquin
Loredana here is an escort and a Playboy model (website only) and a published author. So she's a triple threat!
The published author thing? Yeah, she wrote a tell-all book about her affair with Tiger. Here's a quote from that masterpiece:
"When I was having my relationship with Tiger. I was like on the seventh cloud especially from a sexual perspective. There is at least no doubt about the fact that Tiger was awesome in bed."
That's some high praise from a genuine wordsmith.
5. Loredana Jolie
New York nightclub hostess Rachel Uchitel was the first Tiger Woods mistress. Well, not chronologically, but the first to be discovered by Tiger's wife, and the first identified by the press.
When Tiger's wife discovered the affair, theory has it that she went after him with a golf club, which is why he crashed his car into their mailbox. Could you imagine what she would have done to him had she discovered one of the porn stars?
4. Rachel Uchitel
So Lindsey clocks in at #3. That's pretty good. However, this downhill skiing champion is probably not used to being #3 at anything.
3. Lindsey Vonn
Tiger met this aspiring model at a New York night club in 2008. At the time, she was married with a kid. So, you know, they had a lot in common.
2. Cori Rist
Yeah, I know Elin was Tiger's wife, but before that she was his girlfriend, so she still counts. Also, she's still the most gorgeous woman Tiger has ever been associated with.
Way to blow it, buddy.