UFC Fighter Waylon Lowe Suing Philly Sex Shop Because ‘Prolonging’ Gel Scarred His Junk
It’s been a tough six months for UFC fighters and their penises.
Back in December, you will recall, Ray Elbe fractured his member (yes, you can do that) while getting busy with his fiancée in Kuala Lumpur. Now we have word that Waylon Lowe is suing a Philadelphia sex shop as well as a California-based marital aid manufacturer because a product he purchased has scarred his genitals.
The product in question? That would be “Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel,” a minty green gel that supposedly makes intercourse lost longer and “prolongs men’s pleasure.”
In the complaint filed in a Philadelphia court, the 32-year-old Lowe says he had used the gel before without issue, but on the night of September 1, 2012, there were major problems.
He and his finacée were getting it on when their three-year-old daughter woke up. The lady then interupted the love-making to tend to her, but when she returned Lowe started to experience “excruciating pain and pressure” in his junk, which proceeded to swell to an apparently larger than normal size—at which point Lowe decided he should go to the hospital.
In the end, according to his lawyers, Lowe suffered “catastrophic and permanent damage,” including scarring, loss of sensation, and nerve damage—and yet the guy is only seeking $50,000. If I were the company making this sex balm, I’d happily settle out of court. That’s a bargain. I’d probably be seeking something in the neighborhood of, oh, I don’t know, $10,000,000,000.
Anyway, the lesson here is obvious: if you’re looking for a way to prolong things, just do it the old-fashioned way…by getting drunk first.
Hat Tip – [Cage Potato]