NFL training camps are now underway, which means you die-hard football fans will be rescued from the baseball-only hell that is summer in just six short weeks. As for me, well, I love baseball, so I don’t mind summer at all. But I also love me some NFL, and ever since I got out of high school I’ve looked forward to the beginning of September and the return of our gridiron gladiators.
However, before we all get caught up in the important issues—like whether RG3’s knee will hold up, or who’s going to replace Rex Ryan after he is fired in week three—let’s take a few minutes to enjoy the lighter side of NFL training camps. I am talking, of course, about the rookie hazing, and in particular about the tradition of giving rookies absurd haircuts.
Today we present you with 21 awesome examples of this phenomenon. They won’t help you win your fantasy football league, but they’re still worth a few minutes of your time.
I think they should call that one the funky monk. Or maybe the cracked out George Jefferson.
21. Rashad Jennings – Jaguars, 2009
Ah yes, the Dalmatian. A classic training camp look.
20. Jamar Anzor – Jaguars, 2005
This one illustrates a very important lesson: when hazing somebody with a pair of barber clippers, don't be too precise. If you leave random patches behind, it will only look better.
19. Andrew Economos – Jaguars, 2005
The three on the right look pretty stupid—especially Zach Piller, second from the right. But the dude on the far left, Jason Gamble, kind of looks like a futuristic space villain or something, which is cool.
See what I mean about not being precise? It makes the guy look like a mangy dog, which is kind of the whole point, right?
17. Taylor Whitley – Dolphins, 2003
Then again, if you're going to be precise, be really precise. Maybe carve a sweet design on the back of someone's head.
16. Reggie Poole – Dolphins, 2003
Man, some of these guys got it so much worse than others. The guy way in the back just got a basic mohawk, which actually looks really cool. Meanwhile, the guy second from the right looks like a freak show.
15. Patriots Rookies – 2005
The reverse mohawk—so simple, yet so effective. Another classic training camp hairdo.
14. Dennis Roland – Cowboys, 2006
This poor bastard looks like the baby doll of a little girl with a really mean older brother.
13. Pat McQuistan – Cowboys, 2006
Is it just me, or does Zach West look like Kevin (Brian Baumgartner) from The Office?
12. West & Lua – Patriots, 2007
See what they did there? They shaved off opposite halves of his head and beard. Very clever.
11. Doug Free – Cowboys, 2007
Here I give the prize for worst hazing hairdo to Clint Oldenburg on the far right. The asymmetry is breathtaking.
10. Elgin, Rogers & Oldenburg – Patrios, 2007
Now, if the simple Dalmatian (remember, no. 20?) looks too neat and tidy for your taste, you can just do this.
9. Blake Schlueter – Broncos, 2009
Hey, is that Terry Bradshaw suiting up for the Broncos? No, just a guy with a Terry Bradshow haircut.
8. Tom Brandstater – Broncos, 2009
It kind of looks like they shaved Underwood's hair to look like tiger stripes. Maybe they were just being ironic–you know, seeing as how they're the Jaguars.
7. Tiquan Underwood – Jaguars, 2009
This one here was obviously inspired by a checkered flag.
6. Phil Costa – Cowboys, 2010
Actually, I'm pretty sure that, at one point, Sisquo had the exact same hairdo.
5. Olivier Vernon – Dolphins, 2012
It seems as though poor Chas Alecxih got tie dyed.
4. Chas Alecxih – Dolphins, 2012
Simply exquisite workmanship here. Really, first rate.
3. Kyle Newhall Caballero – Raiders, 2012
My only question here is, did the Raiders veterans also force Nix to grow that nasty little trash stash?
If so...wow, well done, fellas.
2. Lucas Nix – Raiders, 2012
When I first saw His Holiness with this hairdo a few years ago, I did not believe my eyes. I just assumed this was the result of somebody having fun with Photoshop. But no, this actually happened. And in my opinion it's the greatest NFL rookie hazing haircut of all-time.
1. Tim Tebow – Bronos, 2010
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