Breaking News: Strippers at Rick’s Cabaret Declare Support for A-Rod in His Time of Need (Pics)
Poor Alex Rodriguez. Nobody likes him because he is a giant tool who cheats at baseball and flirts with women in the stands during the playoffs. Now Major League Baseball has gone and suspended him through 2014, and everybody is even more against him.
Luckily, in this time of need, there are some folks A-Rod can turn to for support: the women he pays to take off their clothes and rub their butts on his lap. (Or, more likely, the women he ostensibly pays to take their clothes off, but who really console him while he sobs uncontrollably in the champagne room about how everyone likes Jeter more.)
The folks at Rick’s Cabaret New York want A-Rod to know that their girls have his back. Not all of them, mind you, but most of them.
They took a very unscientific pole—wait, wrong spelling—poll of the 105 dancers performing at the club last night and apparently, just over half have vowed to stand by him.
“I believe that we have not heard his side yet, and everyone is innocent until proven guilty,” said Rick’s Cabaret Girl Elizabeth, unaware that the right to make hundreds of millions of dollars playing baseball is not listed in the Bill of Rights.
Meanwhile, Rick’s Cabaret Girl Kiara got all philosophical and mused, “You could say my boob job was ‘performance enhancing.’ Of course, that’s totally legal, so I don’t know. But I love the Yankees and if A-Rod can help them this year, that’s great. We’ve got a long way to go to make the playoffs.”
In any case, there you go, A-Roid. Not everybody hates you. If the boos get you down, head on over to Rick’s Cabaret in midtown Manhattan. They’ll hook you up.