UPDATE: Sports-related intimacy has only continued to catch on in the months since this article was written. So I’ve included a couple of bonus acts that will titillate and disgust you to varying respective ratios, depending on how much of a scumbag you are. And a good thing to remember is that whenever you go to a sporting event of any kind, it’s best that you behave as if you are on camera pretty much every single moment until you get in you car to go home. Because you probably are – and that goes double for your girlfriend.
Every sports fan knows what it is like to get a little carried away. Some have the tendency to unleash a flurry of expletives when the ref makes a bad call. Others have the tendency to run onto the field or go swimming in places where swimming is not allowed. And others still like to get wasted and engage in fisticuffs. But most of the time, that’s as far as their passions take them.
There are other times, however, when the passions of sports fans take them way beyond shouting curse words and being a drunken nuisance. It’s quite rare, of course, but yes—sometimes sports fans are caught being a little too intimate with each other (i.e. knocking boots) at sporting events.
Today we’re going to count down the 13 most infamous known and documented cases of such lascivious activities. A couple of them have become pretty well known thanks to a little thing called the internet, but others you may not have heard about. So take a look, and prepare to be utterly scandalized…or not.
As the other incidents on this list will prove, rubbing your girlfriend's boobs over her shirt is very far from the worst thing you can be recorded on video doing at a baseball game. Which makes it a perfect introduction to this list.
Bonus: Atlanta Fondler
As ashamed as the fans in these embarrassing situations might feel, none of them should feel as bad as the guy above, who was captured on video feeling up a woman who was clearly passed out during a Yankee game. Video has evidently been pulled from YouTube, which is probably a good thing.
Bonus: Yankee Scumbag
We kick things off with the most recent example of fans getting a little too frisky at a sporting event. At an international volleyball game between Germany and Russia in Argentina back in July, this determined-looking gentleman here convinced his girlfriend to, uh, do things...right there in the stands. Some people have seen the video and said that it's not what it looks like—i.e., fellatio—but I still think it's exactly what it looks like.
13. The Volleyball Baller
Of course, the previous case wasn't the first time cameras had ever caught a couple engaging in some inappropriate oral activities at a sporting event. Here's an example from an unknown sporting event that, from the looks of it, took place some time in the early-to-mid 90s. It's one of the many examples of couples getting nasty at sporting events that has been floating around on the interwebz for years.
12. The Unknown Blower
Here's another couple form an unknown game caught in the act long before "high definition" became a thing. Of course, we don't know for sure that this bold pair is actually having intercourse, but having seen all the humping that the video contains, I can assure you that they might as well have been doing it for realsies.
11. The Unknown Humper
Here's a couple that we told you about back in 2011. During a double header between the Phillies and Marlins at Citizen's Bank Park in Philadelphia, these two got a little bored and a lot drunk, and decided that they didn't want to wait until they got home to get frisky. But hey, at least this guy is a true gentleman and is putting his gal's special lady needs before his own.
10. Magic Phillie Phingers
Sadly, we can't show you the actual videos for most of these infamous acts of sports funny business, because this is a family site.
Okay, it's not really a family site per se, but we do strive to be strictly SFW. And that means we simply cannot post videos of people getting busy.
This one we can show you, however, because there's nothing graphic, it's a bit grainy, and, hell, it was on ESPN! At a UTEP football game back in 2008, this couple was sitting up on the rocks taking it all in, and some how the dude convinced his lady friend to reach her hand down his shorts and go to town.
As the guy at the end of the clip says, it looks like they're having a great time.
9. The UTEP Feeler
On Saturday, October 1, 2011, Hoffenheim hosted Bayern Munich at the Rhein-Neckar-Arena. And while the game ended in a 0-0 draw (only in soccer!), a couple of Bayern fans decided to make things more interesting by having sex right there in the stands...amongst the crowd...standing up.
Obviously they were ejected, though miraculously not arrested.
Now, if the idiot who took these pictures would have had the sense to take video—seriously, how do you not take video?—this probably would have ranked much higher on the list. As it is, this couple, whoever they are, will have to live with being stuck at number eight.
8. The Bayern Couple
Here's another pretty famous instance that's been circulatin' the web for years. No one has ever been able to say for sure when this very graphic trabajo de la mano occurred. But we know it's from a Marlins game, and judging by the dude's attire, it's some time between 1993, when the franchise came into existence, and 1997, when they won their first World Series. The team's first uniforms had a lot more teal than black when they debuted, but by '97 the teal was relegated to a secondary color.
7. The Marlins Man-Handler
Back in 2009, this frisky couple decided to "Christen" the sparkling new Cowboys Stadium by doing something very un-Christian: having sex in a men's bathroom stall.
Actually, it was the missionary position, and the guy does have a wedding ring on his finger. Maybe they were married to each other, in which case this wasn't so un-Christian after all.
Wait, no, I'm pretty sure Jesus said, "Dudes, don't bang in the stadium bathroom."
In any case, as you would expect, these people decided to copulate in the bathroom late in the 4th quarter of a Cowboys victory. And apparently, after the happy couple wrapped things up, they received a rousing ovation from the sizable audience that had gathered and they were not embarrassed at all.
6. The Cowboy Stadium Bathroom Couple
Apparently this couple heard about the people in Dallas and were like, whoa, that's a great idea! Because in September of 2012, they decided to have sex in a Yankee Stadium bathroom.
During the middle of a game against the Rays, this unknown couple was spotted getting freaky on a toilet in the men's room near the left field bleachers. And despite the fact that people were very obviously peaking over the stall, taking pictures and videos, the two did not stop—which means they were either serious exhibitionists, or so drunk that they really didn't notice...or, I guess, both.
In any case, when they were all done, they got a large ovation just like the Cowboys couple. It's unclear if they were ejected, but apparently stadium security was alerted to the situation.
5. The Yankee Stadium Bathroom Couple
At number four we have another old-school internet classic: the famous Fenway Threesome.
Way way back in 1995, an ESPN cameraman caught two chicks and a dude getting extremely frisky with each other in the upper deck at historic Fenway Park...while one chick's boyfriend just stood by and watched. It was mostly just a bunch of over-the-clothes petting, but some hands do make brief trips below clothing, and at one point the woman in the middle has her shorts unbuttoned.
If you'd like to see the video, which isn't graphic but is definitely NSFW, here you go.
4. The Fenway Threesome
Did you know that there is a hotel inside the SkyDome (oops, Rogers Centre) in Toronto? Well, there is. And apparently there were at least three documented instances in which fans have been spied having sex before hotel staff decided to make people sign waivers saying they would not fornicate with the curtains open.
The first known case was in 1990, when a couple assumed that, by turning out the lights, nobody could see them. Oops.
The third case was in 1996, when a couple put on what reporters called a 20-minute sex show—apparently on purpose.
The second, however, is the most famous...because that one was caught on tape. It occurred in May of 1995 in front of 40,000 fans during a game between the Jays and Royals. The couple went at it in a chair right in front of a window for a half hour before hotel staff went and told them to knock it off. Of course, by that time even the players on the field knew what was going on, and a number of them reportedly spent quite a bit of time in the video room that day.
3. The SkyDome Cowgirl
At number two we have perhaps the most famous case of stadium sex ever.
What we know for sure is that this couple was having sex at a baseball game at the Oakland Coliseum during a game between the A's and Angels on May 16, 1997. What we think we might know, thanks to Deadspin, is that the dude here might have been a yet-unnamed former hotshot pitching prospect with the Phillies. Apparently he was friends with a lot of guys in Oakland, and apparently they all knew what was going on.
Kind of sounds like something out of Bull Durham, doesn't it?
2. The Coliseum Lovers
The most insane case of fans being naughty in the history of sports actually involved just one fan. One really crazy, exhibitionist, female NASCAR fan, to be precise.
Nobody seems to know exactly what event this comes from. What we do know is that, at what definitely looks to be some NASCAR event in the early 1990s, this chick got up on top of an RV fully nude and did some extremely graphic things with what looks to be a flag pole...while some dude in short jorts stood right behind her and watched.
Yeah, wow is right.
If you want to see some of the videos talked about in this post—which we do not recommend since they are explicit and that kind of stuff is bad—you can do so over at Deadspin, which has quite the collection of "naughty sports fans" videos.