If there’s one thing that’s become clear to me in the years that I’ve been writing about sports, it’s that athletes generally do not have a difficult time finding love. And of course, by “finding love” I mean finding extremely hot women willing to get busy with and/or marry them. You therefore would not think that these men would have to resort to paying for sex. And yet they do. All the time.
Why? Who knows. Maybe the athletes who hire hookers are just lazy, and they don’t feel like going to all the trouble of going to a club or party to meet women. Maybe they’re sex addicts who need it four or five times a day. Maybe they need to find women willing to do things “respectable women” wouldn’t do. All I know is there is no shortage of notable athletes who have been busted for or accused of patronizing the world’s oldest profession. And today we’re going to take a look at the most interesting cases.
Let’s get started.
Apparently it's quite common for soccer teams to seek consolation in the arms of a paid lover after a big loss, because there are three well-documented cases of this happening in recent years. In 2007, both the South Korean national team and the Czech national team decided to blow off steam after disappointing losses by bring a bunch of escorts back to their team hotels. Both times they got caught, and both times it was a big scandal in their respective countries. Then, in 2011, the Mexican U-22 team did the same damn thing, and they too got caught. However, their situation was funnier. You see, they only got caught because they called the cops to report that a bunch of iPhones and such had been stolen. It was when the cops looks at the security footage that they were like, oh, hey, did you guys order a bunch of call girls?
In any case, I couldn't decide which of these teams to include on the list, so I decided to include them all and group them together as a dishonorable mention. (Because I'm writing this thing and I can do what I want.)
Dishonorable Mentions: Mexican, Korean, and Czech Soccer Teams
Let's kick off the actual entries on this list with the most recent athlete-prostitution scandal. Back in April, Cleveland Browns linebacker was caught soliciting a prostitute in a police sting. (Spoiler: the prostitute was a cop. Hopefully a hot on.) He booked some "services" on the phone, agreed to a price, and showed up at an Ohio hotel to discover he'd been duped.
Normally that kind of thing would shame a pro sports franchise, but this is the Browns we're talking about. They just were happy newspapers were mentioning them by name.
15. Quentin Groves
I had a tough time choosing between Mario Balotelli and Franck Ribery for this spot, but in the end I decided to go with Balotelli. Sure, Ribery admitted to paying for a hooker back in 2008, but prostitution is legal in France. And sure, the prositute was only 16, which is not legal in France, but Ribery didn't know she was that young. So this case is more sad than anything.
Balotelli's case, meanwhile, is a lot less depressing. In fact, it's pretty amusing. For one thing, this guy is always dating really hot women (and, ironically, pimping them out), so why does he need to pay for sex at all? For another thing, the prostitute that he admitted to sleeping with is the same prostitute that the next guy on the list paid to sleep with. Which is almost as hilarious as it is gross.
So who is the next guy on the list?
14. Mario Balotelli
That's right. Wayne Rooney. If you're going to pay a woman to have sex with you, why would you choose the same woman as this guy.
Whatever the reason, the prostitute in question here is a young Brit named Jenny Thompson. (Click here for a NSFW photo.) In 2011, it came out that Rooney paid her $2,000 per session over a four-month period...while his really attractive wife was pregnant.
Classy stuff, Wayne.
13. Wayne Rooney
Lawrence Taylor is one of the greatest defensive players the NFL has ever seen. Unfortunately, he lives as ferociously off the field and he did on it. In addition to a number of drug busts over the years, in 2011 the Giants' Hall of Famer pled guilty to having sex with a 16-year-old prostitute in Florida.
Fortunately, because prosecutors and the court believed him when he said he didn't know she was underage, he didn't have to do any jail time. (If Law and Order: SVU has taught me anything, it's that child sex offenders get very special treatment in the slammer.) However, he did have to register as a certified sex offender.
12. Lawrence Taylor
Today Darryl Strawberry is sober and living a relatively quiet life in St. Charles, Missouri, which is part of the St. Louis metropolitan area. During his playing days, however, the guy liked to get all coked-up and get busy with ladies of the night. In 1999, the last year of his sometimes brilliant, sometimes tragic baseball career, Strawberry got busted in Tampa for trying to solicit sex from an undercover cop...with a pocket full of cocaine.
11. Darryl Strawberry
Honestly, in what kind of douchebaggery has A-Rod not indulged? In 2009, the madam who supplied former New York governor Elliot Spitzer with his prostitutes, came out and claimed that she met Alex Rodriguez at a gym in Philly, that she gave him her card, that she supplied him with hookers, and that she actually dated him herself.
Now, none of this was ever proven in a court of law, and A-Rod denied it. But who are you going to believe—a guy with this painting over his bed, or a woman who runs an escort service for a living?
That's right. You're going to believe the madame.
10. Alex Rodriguez
You've got to hand it to Charles Barkley—the man is honest. When he was pulled over for a DUI by Arizona cops in 2008, the former NBA All-Star and current TNT commentator didn't want to lie to the cops, so he just came out and said exactly what he was doing.
"You want the truth," asked Barkly, according to the police report? "I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job."
Boom. Truth bomb.
9. Charles Barkley
In 1997, Marv Albert, the voice of the NBA, was charged with felony forcible sodomy, and eventually pled guilty to misdemeanor assault and battery. (Remember? He's a biter.)
Now, none of that had anything to do with a prostitute. The woman involved in that case was a longtime "friend." However, in the course of that investigation, Albert's name turned up in the little black book of a murdered dominatrix named Mistress Hilda. Was she a prostitute, technically speaking? I don't know. But in my book it's close enough.
8. Marv Albert
Lakers great James Worthy, the MVP of the 1988 NBA Finals, is probably best known for his signature Rec Specs. However, for a brief time in 1990, he was known as "that basketball player who called a Houston escort service that had already been shut down by the police, requested a couple hookers be sent to his hotel, and then got busted by undercover cops."
7. James Worthy
There is zero actual proof that Derrick Rose actually patronizes prostitutes. All we really have is a bunch of accusations made on Twitter, which is probably the least-credible source you could find. However, it is a funny story, so I had to include it here.
You see, back in 2011, when he was still actually playing basketball, the former NBA MVP was accused, on Twitter, or receiving services from a call girl and then refusing to pay her. The accuser? Another call girl who is supposedly friends with the woman Rose allegedly stiffed. (See what I did there?)
It may be that all of this is completely false. But it may also be true, and I have no problem reporting gossip.
6. Derrick Rose
What makes English soccer star Peter Crouch's prostitution bust so noteworthy? The fact that he is married to this woman—British lingerie model Abbey Clancy. Unless the dude was paying $10,000 a pop for whoever he was seeing, there's no way she was hotter than his wife.
I just don't get it.
5. Peter Crouch
In 2005, cornerback Fred Smoot and a bunch of other Minnesota Vikings chartered a boat, flew in a bunch of call girls from Atlanta, and then thew one hell of a sex party out on Lake Minnetonka. The only problem? The activities on the boat were just too much for the boat's captain, so he turned the thing around and ratted them out. A major scandal ensued, with Smoot and teammate Bryant McKinnie taking the fall.
4. 2005 Minnesota Vikings
Denny Neagle was once a hotshot pitcher for the Braves, and he had the kind of wife we've come to expect such players to have—i.e., blonde and hot. However, ballplayers spend a lot of time on the road, and when Denny was out of town Mrs. Neagle simply could not provide for all of her husband's carnal needs. So he got hookers. And not just once, but a couple of times.
After that he got dropped by the Rockies (don't sign contracts with morality clauses if you like your hookers) and his wife, who divorced him in 2006.
3. Denny Neagle
On January 30, 1999, the day before the Falcons played the Broncos in Super Bowl XXXII, safety Eugene Robinson was presented with the Bart Starr Award for his "high moral character" from a Christian group called Athletes in Action.
Later that night, he snuck out his hotel room at 3:00 AM while he wife was asleep and solicited oral sex from an undercover cop.
You can't make this stuff up.
2. Eugene Robinson
What's that? You thought Tiger just got all his extramarital sex for free from porn stars and cocktail waitresses? Oh no. He paid for it, too. According to Hollywood madame Michelle Braun, Woods hired four different women for "dates" on six different occasions in 2006 and 2007.
The bill? A cool $60,000.