8 NFL Players Who Have Been Arrested Since The Season Began
The NFL is not enjoying a great year PR-wise. Not that it matters. Football is like crack to Americans, so it’s no big deal that Aaron Hernandez is arrested for having murdered over 52,000 people, Richie Incognito is threatening to steal Mel Gibson’s title of America’s Sweetheart, and Pacman Jones is still allowed to live outside of a cage without a shock collar.
While much has been made about the many, many many arrests that took place earlier in the year, we’d like to peruse the arrests that have happened during the season thus far. Keep in mind, the regular season is barely past the midway point. And yeah, we included pre-season. Because they should be busy enough, even during pre-season, to not drive cars while smoking joints. Just do one or the other, guys, not both.
We’re gonna kick this list off with a “two for the price of one” entry. Because the NFL is so bountiful in its production of criminals, we can spotlight a gentleman who makes millions of dollars and HAS BEEN ARRESTED TWICE IN THE PAST EIGHT WEEKS. In the past 18 months or so, linebacker Aldon Smith has been arrested for DUI, stabbed during a fight, then on September 20th, he was involved in a single-vehicle accident that led to his arrest for suspicion of DUI and possession of marijuana. Tough break. Tough break for a pretty stupid offense.
9. & 8. Aldon Smith – 49ers
THEN, while on his leave of absence from the NFL in rehab, he got arrested for weapons charges stemming from the aforementioned 2012 stabbing incident at his house. The actual charge this time around was three counts of illegal possession of an automatic weapon. That’s a tough pill for anyone to swallow, but it makes for an exceptionally difficult one when it happens when you’re on leave addressing an addiction. Also, it sucks to get stabbed then go to jail for something that would never have been known if you hadn’t gotten stabbed.
9. & 8. Aldon Smith – 49ers
How do you gear up for big moments in your job? If you’re like John Boyett, you spend your whole life training to be a pro football player, get drafted by the Colts, sign with them in May, then a couple days before (September 2nd) your NFL debut, you get arrested for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest. Then you get waived by the Colts the next day and watch your NFL dreams slowly spiral down the toilet as you remain an unsigned free agent all season. It’s sad, really. But also very very stupid and common in the NFL.
7. John Boyett – Colts
Don’t drink and drive. Ever. There isn’t a lot of gray area there, but if I was going to cite an instance when you DEFINITELY shouldn’t drink and drive, it would be when you’re on probation from a marijuana conviction (MARIJUANA CONVICTION?????), and as of a couple days ago, you’re now looking at the business end of a three-year jail sentence. In completely unrelated news, you’ll never guess what Jerome Simpson of the Minnesota Vikings just did.
6. Jerome Simpson – Vikings
The “D.C.” is short for “Lequan,” I guess. You know that phrase “If you love something, set it free, and if it comes back, it’s yours forever?” There’s a spin on that adage that goes something like, “If you drafted a rookie in the seventh round, he probably isn’t essential to your organization, and if he screws up on any level, you can cut him just to adopt a hardline stance and buoy your organization’s perceived integrity.” It’s not a phrase that’s used often, but it’s pretty apt here. On November 1st, D.C. Jefferson got arrested on suspicion of DUI. On the following Monday, November 4th, Jefferson was cut. So let it be cold comfort that athletes often only get special treatment if they’re really popular and accomplished.
5. Lequan “D.C.” Jefferson – Cardinals
Oh. There’s Pacman Jones. I’m surprised it took us this long to find him on this list. No worries. He’s here. Adding to his litany of a rap sheet offenses, Adam Jones was, on September 23rd, cited and released (though everyone is classifying it as an arrest, so I am too) for disorderly conduct as a passenger in a Dodge Durango that was pulled over late on a Sunday night/Monday morning. This is after Jones was charged with misdemeanor assault after allegedly hitting a woman. It’s Jones 8th arrest since becoming a pro football player. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE NAME ANOTHER LINE OF WORK WHERE YOU CAN GET ARRESTED 8 TIMES AND STILL KEEP YOUR JOB?
4. Adam “Pacman, Career Criminal, Proof-The-Justice-System-Is-Broken” Jones – Bengals
Hot of the press, Dwayne Bowe made the list on Sunday after getting hauled in for speeding and marijuana possession. Sounds like he was really enjoying his bye week. And we shouldn't he? These guys work hard. They deserve a chance to drive really fast with drugs in their car. We all do. In a somewhat laughable footnote, Bowe posted bond for $750, or roughly the same amount he gets paid to tie his left shoe before a practice in July. A suggestion: If you’re a celebrity of any kind, and really like smoking marijuana, reside in a state where it’s not a crime. The only story here would be “Football player ticketed for going 48 in a 35,” and you wouldn't end up on a fun list like this.
3. Dwayne Bowe – Kansas City
Linebacker Nigel Bradham wasn't trying too hard for originality when he got arrested August 19th for marijuana possession. Please see my above comment, NIGEL. He was pulled over for a window tint violation (what a criminal genius) when the officer smelled marijuana, and Bradham eventually turned over a bag of weed to the cop. The amount of marijuana was TOO SMALL TO WARRANT ARREST, so he was cited and released. Ok. He technically didn’t get “arrested,” but the fact that such a small amount was enough to be smelled by the cop means that he was probably smoking it, and that’s an offense dumb enough to be called out on in this little list, even if it didn't involve handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit. (It’s the new black, you know.)
2. Nigel Bradham – Bills
Failure to Appear. A judge says “Show up here at this time, or you’re guilty of a crime.” You would show up, right? Even if you’re working minimum wage, living in a studio apartment with Jeff Foxworthy, you show up, because even with your difficult life, you value your freedom. Von Miller’s priorities are different than the imaginary person I just described. He was probably busy that day, so he didn’t go to court to answer to charges of careless driving, driving with a suspended license, and driving without proof of insurance.