Being a sports broadcaster is hard. Whether you are an announcer or a reporter, you’re basically talking nonstop for a living, which means you must be on your toes and ready to respond to anything at a moment’s notice. So with those kinds of odds, everyone is going to mess up eventually.
That being said, some screw ups are bigger than others, and the biggest ones pretty much always involve unintentional sexual innuendo…or stuff that’s just flat-out filthy.
Want to take a look at the best of the best? Well, you’re in luck. Thanks to YouTube, no inadvertent slip of the tongue will ever be lost to the void of time ever again. So today we present you with list of the greatest sexual slip-ups in sports broadcasting history. Take a look—you won’t regret it.
Who? Ashton Altieri
What? Denver NBC 9 news broadcast
Okay, I do feel compelled to mention that poor Ashton wasn't talking to Erin. He was talking to Aaron, the breast-less anchorman on the far right. Still, who doesn't love hearing a guy on TV talk about big hooters?
15. Big Hooters
Who? Cindy Brunson
What? ESPN News
A blunder, or a dog-lover just speaking her mind?
Okay, fine, probably a blunder. But an appropriate one.
14. Michael Who?
Who? Kyle Keefe
What? Avalanche Postgame Show
When? March 2013
I don't know about you, but I always look forward to thoughtful analysis from Penis. He sure knows his hockey.
13. Analysis from Penis McNab
Who? Curtis Strange
Curtis Strange is a two-time U.S. Open winner and a member of the International Golf Hall of Fame. However, at 58 years old he's no spring chicken, and apparently he's starting to experience longings for his youth.
Well, somebody's youth.
12. Longing for His Youth
Who? Andy Brickley
What? Versus NHL Broadcast
I don't know about Pavel Datsyuk, but Henrik Zetterberg is a pretty good-looking dude and he's married to a Swedish bikini model. So yeah, I bet he does have tremendous sex.
11. Tremendous Amounts of Sex, Part 1
What? Georgia High School Football
Apparently there is something about the world "tremendous" that causes people to botch "success" and turn it into "sex." This is the second time this exact blunder appears on our list, and our next example—the most famous of them all—will make it three.
10. Tremendous Amounts of Sex, Part 2
Who? Susannah Collins
What? CSN Chicago Blackhawks Pregame Show
When? April 2013
Remember this one? It was just an honest, innocent mistake. Funny, yes, but nothing to get upset about...unless you are Blackhawks owner Rocky Wirtz. After this went viral last spring, Wirtz was outraged and had her fired.
Now, ostensibly, she was fired because Wirtz only then learned that Collins used to host an off-color YouTube show called Sports Nutz. The big deal? They made jokes about penises! Oh no! Quick, let's fire everyone who's ever made a joke about a penis!
Seriously, Wirtz may have resuscitated the Hawks, but on this one he's a pretty big a-hole. The team had no problem keeping Bobby Hull on after his ex-wife accused him of beating her half to death, but when they found out a sideline reporter used to be on a show that let her use the f-word they took immediate action.
9. Tremendous Amounts of Sex, Part 3
Who? Don Taylor
Don Taylor is one of Rogers SportsNet's biggest on-air personalities. And given that Rogers just bought exclusive Canadian broadcasting rights from the NHL for 750 trillion dollars, he's probably going to become even more prominent.
That's good news for those of you who like hearing about enormous d*ck saves.
8. Toskala's Enormous...You know
Who? Lee Corso
What? ESPN's College GameDayWhen? 2009
The phrase "shot my wad" comes from the use of firearms, many of which—including the modern shotgun—use a wad of paper, fiber, or plastic to separate the bullet from the gun powder. If you "shot your wad," that just means whatever you did was ineffective—like a misfiring gun.
Alternatively, it can alsomean that whatever you did was an act of last resort. E.g., "I ran out of bullets, so I shot my wad." And this is probably how Corso meant it—Arkansas's last win was all they had left, and now they've got nothing left to fire. Not even their wad.
Of course, to youths of today, "shot my wad" has come to mean...um...something else. And in this context, is certainly sounds like Corso meant it that way.
7. Lee Corso Is Old!
What? Northern Iowa-Southern Illinois Football Game
Look, guys, you need to go over the rosters very carefully, figure out which names might be problematic, and plan according. You can't just go around talking about Jason Semen getting in people's faces like that.
6. Just an Unfortunate Name
Who? Solomon Wilcotts
What? Jaguars-Colts Game
When? September 2013
Yeah, this is a phrase that just needs to whipped out of the broadcasters' dictionary altogether.
5. Defense Wants to Come Where?
Who? Chris Collinsworth
What? Seahawks-Redskins Game
Meanwhile, at home, the face of Chris's wife, Holly, turned beat-red.
4. Right in HER Face?
Who? Steve Levy
Steve Levy has been with ESPN for a long, long time. This, however, will always be his greatest moment.
Your move, Stuart Scott.
3. The Infamous Bulging Richard
Who? Hawk Harrelson
What? White Sox-Mariners Game
Longtime White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson sure has a way with words, doesn't he?
(FYI, in case you didn't put two and two together, he was talking about how the Mariners—the Seamen—had the bases loaded.)
2. Sacks Packed
Who? Christine Nubla
What? Fox Sports West Clippers Halftime Report
Don't you just love the way the brain works? The phrase she was looking for was "dribble penetration"—which already sounds dirty—but the phrase that popped into her head was "double dribble." Then the two got combined to become "double penetration."
Personally, I have no idea what that means. But I'm told it's very dirty.
1. Double Dribble + Dribble Penetration = ?
announcer fail, announcers, broadcasting, funny, sexual innuendo, Sports Broadcasters,