If you’ve been following the 2014 NBA Playoffs at all, then you probably heard that, upon hearing the Spurs had once again reached the Western Conference Finals, Charles Barkley called the women of San Antonio fat on national television.
Obviously, this made people mad because, in addition to being a mean thing to say, it was also factually incorrect. Sure, if we’re being totally honest, there are probably a lot of women in San Antonio who wouldn’t meet Chuck’s strict beauty standards. (Remember, he was once arrested for a DUI, and he told the cops that he was on his way to get oral sex from a hooker. So his standards are pretty high.) But there are a lot of really gorgeous women from San Antonio, too. And the Round Mound of Rebound just threw them out with the bathwater.
Want to see some of the best that San Antonio has to offer? Well then take a look at this list. It’s got 12 of the many gorgeous women San Antonio…with whom Charles Barkley will never get to have sex.
The Dixie Chicks are all pretty attractive, but if I had to pick one to give the honorary title of "the hot one," it would be Emily Robison.
So, do you know which Texas city Robison chooses to call home? That's right. It's San Antonio. (Man, I hope you got that right.)
Obviously Robison also has a ranch, because all rich Texans have a ranch. But her main home is a sweet four-bedroom loft apartment in downtown San Antonio.
12. Emily Robison
This is Elida Eyna. She's a Latin Grammy-winning Tejano music singer, and she's very not fat and ugly. I don't know where she lives now, and I don't know if she is a Spurs fan. But I know for a fact she was born in San Antonio.
11. Elida Reyna
ESPN SportsNation host Michelle Beadle spend the second half of her childhood in San Antonio, then she went to college there. And since she is also hot, yes, she made the list.
10. Michelle Beadle
I don't know who this is, but she was in Maxim in 2009, and that means she is certified hot. And in Maxim, she said her favorite sports team is—you guessed it—the San Antonio Spurs.
So if you're keeping score at home, that's Women of San Antonio 3, Charles Barkley 0.
9. Sophie the Maxim Model
Yep, that's Michelle Rodriguez, one of the stars of a little film franchise called Fast and Furious. Not only is she (a) hot and (b) from San Antonio, but she is also (c) bisexual. So really, even though she spent her teenage years in New Jersey, she should stillcount double on this list.
8. Michelle Rodriguez
Summer Glau has been in a number of commercially successful and/or critically acclaimed TV shows in recent years, from Firefly, to Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles, to the latest, Arrow. More importantly, she is super hot and obviously born and raised in San Antonio.
Is she a basketball fan? That doesn't really matter.
7. Summer Glau
Meet Vanessa Macias. She is a former contestant on The Amazing Race, she is the current in-house announcer of the San Antonio Missions (baseball) and San Antonio Scorpions (soccer), she is hot, she is dating Tim Duncan, and, most importantly, she is a purebred San Antonian.
Maybe you recognize her as that hot chick wearing the "Barkley Don't Know" t-shirt?
6. Vanessa Macias
Yep, that's right. V. Stiviano, the hot chick who taped Donald Sterling being a racist scumbag, is from San Antonio...though obviously she's not a Spurs fan.
(You didn't really think we could go a whole post without mentioning Donald Sterling, did you?)
5. V. Stiviano
Who is Jana Jordan? Why, she's what they call an "adult film" star. (Go ahead. Look her up on Google. I'll wait.) As you can see, she is quite attractive and not at all fat, despite being from San Antonio.
4. Jana Jordan
Hey, I couldn't leave the Silver Dancers off the list, could I? After all, where in the hell do you think they live? That's right, they all live in San Antonio. Most of them are probably from there, too. And damn, they're crazy hot.
3. San Antonio Spurs Cheerleaders
No, Eva Longoria was not just a Spurs fan because she married Tony Parker. She was a Spurs fan before she married him, and she's stilla Spurs fan even though they are now divorced.
Now that's a die-hard fan.
Eva was actually born and raised in nearby Corpus Christi, so technically she's not a San Antonian. ButI think anyone that loyal to a team definitely qualifies for honorary San Antonian status.
2. Eva Longoria
Who knew Selena Gomez was this hot? I didn't. Not until I started working on this list. (And yes, it's legal to say Selena Gomez is hot now. I checked, and she's 21.)
Anyway, Selena was born outside Dallas, which you geography majors out there will point out is not San Antonio. However, she is a huge, huge Spurs fan and is frequently seen sporting their jersey. So she most definitely counts.
Eat your heart out Barkley. (And Bieber.)
1. Selena Gomez
Beautiful Women, Charles Barkley, hot chicks, NBA, San Antonio, San Antonio Spurs,