On the one hand, I totally understand why people were offended when Charles Barkley called all the women of San Antonio fat on national (cable) television. There are some topics that just are not okay to joke about, and in my experience, a woman’s weight is definitely one of them.
On the other hand, there are few men in America I take less seriously than the Round Mound of Rebound. So while the things he said (and continues to say) may be irksome, it’s worth pointing out that this blowhard is probably not worth everyone’s outrage. He’s basically a shock jock. His job is to draw attention to himself and Inside the NBA by being ridiculous. And, as these GIFs will show you, the man is extremely good at being ridiculous.
So, are you ready for a good laugh? Okay then, click on those arrows…
Don't worry, this isn't footage from the new Godzilla movie. I'm not spoiling anything. It's just a Nike commercial from 1992. You can see the whole thing here.
21. Chuck vs. Godzilla
Apparently somebody forgot the Speedstick. (That's a deodorant people used to wear, right? Speedstick?)
20. What's that smell?
Obviously, a lot has changed since Charles Barkley's Godzilla-fighting days.
19. The Terrifying Fluffy Bunny
Shaq is still pretty nimble. Charles? Not so much. I bet his vertical these days is like .75 inches.
(PS, when you're done with these, take a look at some sweet Shaq GIFs.)
18. Chuck vs. Shaq-Fu
You are getting very sleepy. You feel your eyelids getting heavy. You can't keep your eyes open any longer.
Good. Now, when I snap my fingers, you will wake up and be a chicken...then Charles Barkley will eat you.
Charles Barkley was very good at basketball. His golf swing, however, has a few minor kinks.
Want to see it from another angle? Well...
16. Carles Barkley, Golf Pro: Part 1
I know, I know. How is this swing even possible, right?
Let's just take one more look...
15. Carles Barkley, Golf Pro: Part 2
Wow. Just, wow. Charles Barkley was really good at basketball, but he is turrible at golf. Just turrible.
14. Carles Barkley, Golf Pro: Part 3
Few people know this, but Charles Barkley was one of the first people embrace the shake weight.
As you can see, he's having a little trouble in this one. However, it did not take him very long to master his stroke...
13. Chuck vs. The Shake Weight
Of course, everybody knows what happens with you do this for too long...
12. Chuck Owns the Shake Weight
That's right. When you jerk the shake weight for too long, you get too hot and somebody comes and sprays champagne all over you so you'll cool down. Cause that's what that is—champagne.
(Seriously, get your mind out of the gutter.)
11. Chuck vs. Champagne
What's that? Does Chuck like to dance? You're goddamn right Chuck likes to dance.
10. ChuckDance, Part 1
Chuck likes to dance sitting down in the studio.
9. ChuckDance, Part 2
Chuck likes to dance standing up at the game.
8. ChuckDance, Part 3
Hell, check even likes to take off his shirt and dance like he's Magic Mike.
(Full disclosure: that's not really Chuck's body. It's a joke.)
7. FatChuckDance, Part 1
Sometimes Chuck is even a fat white guy. (He's so versatile!)
6. FatChuckDance, Part 2
This is actually a pretty typical Saturday night for Charles Barkley. All that's missing are a bunch of sad, sad strippers.
5. What Chuck Would Look Like on Prescription Pain Killers
If you ever wondered what the Round Mound of Rebound would look like as a superhero, well, here you go.
4. Happy New Year!
The really amazing thing? Charles has started dozing off while on the air on numerous occasions. Maybe it's time he considered making the switch from chamomile tea to coffee?
Back when Chuck went on his original rant against the fat women of San Antonio, he mentioned that the only thing he really liked about the city were its churros.
Now, in case you don't know what a churro is, it's basically a Mexican donut, only instead of being round with a hole in the middle, it's long and tubular...which is to say, yes, it'spenis-shaped.
So naturally, when Charles addressed his controversial remarks about San Antonio a week later, he made sure to reiterate that he does love the city's churros. And he did this by miming what it's like when he gorges on one after the other...
2. Chuck vs. The Imaginary Churros, Part 1
I have no idea whether Chuck was aware that it looked like he was fellating two ghosts.