Does a Johnny Manziel-Inspired Hot Dog Called the ‘Johnny Footlong’ Make You Hungry?
Who’s hungry? And who wants a very phallic (even by hot dog standards) food item that is named after a brash Texan drafted by the Cleveland Browns?
Probably not a lot of people. But apparently the Akron Rubberducks, the Double-A affiliate of the Cleveland Indians, didn’t conduct the same type of rigorous focus group testing that I just did. Because they’re rolling out a big-ass, gross-looking hot dog called the “Johnny Footlong”—which is, of course a playing on Johnny Football, Johnny Manziel‘s nickname.
It weighs eight ounces. Guess how long it is…
The “treat” will be “topped with Texas Jack chili, shredded pepper jack cheese and Sriracha sauce.” Awesome. So the Akron Rubbernducks’ big plan is to have every ballpark attendee shit themselves in concert. Brilliant.
It’s not bad enough that you’re at a minor league baseball game in Akron. Now you’re going to have to watch people in the crowd eat this.