Target Field Introduces Ridiculous New Food Items, Self-Serve Beer Machines for 2014 MLB All-Star Game
You don’t have regular old players at the MLB All-Star Game, so why should you have regular old ballpark food?
This, apparently, is the philosophy of the Minnesota Twins and their concessions provider, Delaware North. With the 2014 MLB All-Star Game being held at Target Field next week, they’ve teamed up to create some All-Star versions of typical baseball game foods.
The Double Play
Fans who can’t decide which type of sausage they want can get the Double Play, which features a bratwurst and a polish sausage, living together in harmony in the same bun. (I’m sure there’s some sort of World War II joke to be made here, but I’ll leave that to you.)
The Brat Dog
Meanwhile, if two types of sausage in the same bun isn’t extreme enough for you, you can always get the Brat Dog, which of course has a hot dog inside a bratwurst. It’s the ballpark equivalent of the turducken.
The Hangover Burger
The All-Star version of a hamburger? It’s not a burger with a donut for a bun, because that’s just crazy. No, at Target Field it’s a burger with bacon and a fried egg on top.
The Lobster Corn Dog
Last but not least, if you’ve always thought the problem with corn dogs was that they don’t have any lobster, you’ll probably love the Lobster Corn Dog. My understanding is that they’ve replaced the hot dog with lobster, but it’s also possible that they’ve stuffed a hot dog with lobster. Either way it sounds amazing.
The crazy new foods won’t be the only amazing concession innovation at the 2014 MLB All-Star Game, however. Target Field has also introduced—you might want to sit down, everybody—self-serve beer machines (pictured at the top).
That’s right, self-serve beer machines. Fans buy a $10, $20, or $50 vending card from a concession stand. Then they scan the card at the beer machine and pour their own beer in any amount they want, because the thing charges by the ounce. Bud and Bud Light will cost $0.38 per ounce, while Shock Top and Goose Island 312 will cost $0.40 per ounce.
Of course, there will be an employee at every beer machine to check IDs and keep an eye out for over-served fans, and you’ll be limited to 48 ounces per 15 minutes…which really makes no sense because drinking 96 ounces in 30 minutes will still get you absolutely sloshed. But hey, I guess they have to make it seem like they’re trying to prevent public intoxication, right?