Minor League Killing Machine Takes Out Batter, Catcher, and Ump in One Pitch (Video)
Curtis Partch must be a finely-tuned killing machine, created in a military laboratory, and just biding time pitching in the minor leagues until he’s needed in a war or black op.
That’s the only explanation as to how this seemingly innocuous ginger-haired, bemulleted fella could take out three parties with one pitch. His mind-computer must have calculated all the angles of refraction while also taking time to lay the trajectories against a template of the human anatomy in order to cause the most injury possible.
Here’s the video:
The Louisville Bats have a secret weapon, and I’m sure the Reds are salivating, thinking about starting Partch for their next inter-league game against the Yankees. We all are, frankly.
MOTION TO FORMALLY BEQUEATH UPON CURTIS PARCH THE NICKNAME “WIDOWMAKER.”
*BOOM GOES THE GAVEL*
Hat Tip – [@theScore]