9 Predictions for Johnny Manziel’s Rookie Year
He won’t be taking the first snap of the season, but that doesn’t keep people, especially us at TPS, from guessing where Manziel’s rookie campaign will take him. Fans are hoping that he becomes newsworthy based on his accomplishments, and pragmatists and haters see his notoriety coming from less esteemed channels. It’s all conjecture at this point, but it’s fun conjecture, so let’s talk about nine predictions we see for Johnny Football this season.
It’s a shame that The Drew Carey Show, set in Cleveland, isn’t on the air anymore, because Manziel would have been a lock to make an appearance there. Since that’s not on the air, and I don’t watch much network TV any more, I’ll just bet on the field and say that he’ll appear on one of them. And we’ll know because the football announcers on that network will not shut up about it the week it airs.
9. He’ll Have a Cameo in at Least One Bad Sitcom
Just a guess that he’ll do a couple things that would otherwise go unnoticed, like get caught going 35 in a school zone, or showing up late to a team meeting. Under the microscope, these transgressions will get blown out of proportion, and Manziel will have to explain himself. It’s unfortunate to find yourself in that position, but it’s not exactly like Manziel’s maintained a low profile since getting drafted.
8. He’ll Be Involved in Two Incidents That He’ll Have to Apologize for
Now that he’s distanced himself from the program, there’s almost no doubt that someone will speak up about him getting free shots at a bar or driving a Lamborghini into a College Station orphanage. But most likely something in between those two. It will be much more of an issue for the school than it will be for Manziel, but it’s nonetheless going to be newsworthy.
7. One Embarrassing Texas A&M Incident Will Come to Light
Good, bad, or otherwise, most NFL fans expect Manziel to get the starting nod at some point this season. Because that’s the expectation, and the media has clung to this guy like grim death for the past 18 months or so, don’t expect the hype to die down just because he’s riding the bench. Even if it’s for ten weeks, expect to hear about the “controversy,” and pundits looking for meaning and indication when there isn’t any.
6. The Media Won’t Shut Up about Him While He Rides the Bench
TO BE CLEAR: I don’t want to see Manziel get injured. I don’t want to see anyone get injured, but it would be appropriate that all the undue hype and praise on an unproven rookie with an attitude is rewarded with…nothing. We could have just as easily waited to begin the discussion when Manziel gets the starting job, but instead, we let this slow burn take place for a year, and some huge trauma or surprise would show us just how far in front of the horse we put the cart.
5. He’ll Get a Terrible, Career-Ending Injury, and We’ll All Feel Stupid for Talking about Him So Much
Despite what you’ve seen about Johnny JamBoogie, Manziel isn’t a safe bet for advertisers, and while Snickers was quick to get ahead of it all with one ad, don’t expect corporations to pin their hopes on a QB that hasn't even started in the NFL, let alone stood out. If Manziel makes his way up this season, I think we can all expect to get the Johnny Football ads piled on, but advertisers will prove more patient than the media.
4. He Won’t Be Marketable…Not Yet
Honestly, most of these predictions are pretty pedestrian, so I figured I would throw this one in there. He’s made it clear that he likes pretty girls (weirdo) and that he’s no stranger to attention, so I’m sticking with the notion that he’ll make an appearance on a porn-streaming site before he makes one on SportsCenter. I would never be so bold as to predict who he would star in the video with, but…Jennifer Aniston and True Blood’s Joe Manganiello.
3. He’ll Have Sex Tape Circulating Before He Throws a Touchdown Pass
It’s surprising that he didn’t serve as more of a target during the preseason (the Redskins’ efforts against him were more funny than scary), but in the cutthroat world of the NFL, it’s easy to see why he would be picked on. He’s achieved golden boy status without proving much, and he’s a quick way for a defensive lineman to make a name for himself with a sack and a celebration.
2. He’ll Find Himself in Harm’s Way Whenever He’s on the Field
The Browns have a lot invested in Manziel. He’s been pegged (entirely by external forces) as the new face of the franchise, so for them to not get him front and center, even though it’s not like a late-first round pick is entitled to the starting QB job, would reflect poorly on them. Brian Hoyer certainly isn’t the salvation, so even though he might be the better QB, he’s not the better bet for the future. Hoyer was granted the starting job for several different reasons, many of which will erode by week 8, giving Manziel a crack at leading the Browns.