Everyone Just Settle Down About that Justin Bieber Goal (Video)

justin bieber goal

Did you hear about the Justin Bieber goal? The douchebag Canadian pop star scored a goal playing hockey and everyone is like, “Oh my God can u believe it that wuz AMAZEBALLS!!!”

I’m not even joking. The thing has been described as “sweet,” “sick,” and “impressive” by various media outlets.

Was it a good goal? Sure it was. Biebs pushed the puck past a defender, skated around him, and then put it top shelf over the goaltender’s glove. But let’s all clam down with the superlatives and note the context. This goal came in a men’s league in Los Angeles. Most of the guys probably didn’t start playing hockey until their 20s, and the guy Bieber “burned” could barely skate backwards.

Bieber, meanwhile, grew up in the hockey-lovingest place on earth where they learn to skate before they learn to walk. The only impressive thing about any of this is that he was actually sober enough to play hockey.

Also, note Bieber’s caption on the video he posted to Vine.

Seriously? Go f*ck yourself, Bieber.

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