Can we all take a break from talking about Tom Brady’s balls for a minute and focus on something that’s actually important, like the Super Bowl XLIX WAGs? There are just a few days to go before the big game, and almost nobody is talking about them.
The Patriots are sending a particularly strong WAG contingent to Phoenix, headed, as always, by Mrs. Brady. The Seahawks, meanwhile, are rolling into to Super Bowl Sunday with a significantly weakened WAG roster. Russell Wilson got a divorce in the offseason, Golden Tate left as a free agent, and Percy Harvin got traded.
That being said, the Seahawks do still have a few secret weapons that give the Pats WAGs a run for their money. I wouldn’t bet against them.
But that’s enough small talk. Let’s take a look at the Super Bowl XLIX WAGs already….
I don't know if Seahawks safety Earl Thomas is actually officially married to Nina Heisser. But she is the mother of his child, and the two look pretty domesticated on social media. In any case, life could not be much better for the 25-year-old Thomas right now. He's been named an All-Pro and a Pro Bowler for four straight years. He's got one ring and has a very good chance of winning another. He just signed a four-year, $40 million deal with Seattle with $27 million guaranteed. And he's got the girl.
13. Nina Heisser
Honestly, this isn't even fair. How does Bill Belichick, a man who only smiles when he's manaically twisting his fake mustache while hatching evil plots, get a woman like Linda Holliday? Pete Carroll I could understand. He comes off as youthful and charming. But Belichick? He had to practice smiling in the mirror for two weeks just to pose for this photo.
12. Linda Holliday
There are tons of Taylor Rutledges in the world. That makes it very difficult to find the Taylor Rutledge who is dating Pats running back Shane Vereen on social media, which in turn makes it very difficult to find out anything about her.
We do know Shane and Taylor are still dating, though, thanks to this photo. And we also know that Taylor is from Seattle. So that's ironic.
11. Taylor Rutledge
Admittedly, this is not the best photo of Pele Bennett, wife of Seahawks DE Michael Bennett. But I think it's good enough to see that she's pretty damn attractive.
No idea who that Kobe Bryant look-alike is, though.
10. Pele Bennett
This is Seattle linebacker Bruce Irivin's wife, Alyssa. For some reason she doesn't flood the internet with bikini cleavage selfies (I know, right?), but you can still see she's a good-looking woman.
And yes, I'll admit it, that's one cute baby.
9. Alyssa Irvin
That there is Patriots defensive end Rob Ninkovich. But I probably don't have to tell you that. You're probably wearing your Rob Ninkovich jersey right now.
No? Well, anyway, as you've probably surmised, the lovely woman sitting on Rob's lap is Paige, his wife. Word on the street is these two lovebirds met at a bar in New Orleans when Rob was just a rookie with the Saints.
Hopefully the meeting didn't involved him giving her beads in exchange for her lifting up her shirt. That would be a pretty embarrassing story to tell their grand children.
8. Paige Ninkovich
Vashonda Arrington is a computer security analyst. To be quite honest, I have no idea what that is, but it sounds like you have to be smart to do it. So she's way more than just arm candy for Patriots cornerback Kyle Arrington.
You can read their sweet love story here, if you're into that sort of thing.
7. Vashonda Arrington
She looks like a Morgan Hart, doesn't she?
Anyway, if by some chance you don't know what all 53 players on the Patriots active roster look like, that's linebacker Dont'a Hightower. Morgan is his girlfriend. He is big. She is little. On weekends they like to go bowling and take pictures of themselves holding the balls.
6. Morgan Hart
This is Ricki Lander. She's a model/dancer/actor, she's 32, and she's dating New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft.
Oh, what? How old is Robert Kraft? He's 73. But before you start ripping him for dating a woman young enough to be his daughter, keep in mind the guy's wife died of cancer in 2011.
Yeah, now you feel like a jerk, don't you.
5. Ricki Lander
Doug Baldwin's had a chip on his shoulder all year. As the Seahawks' #1 wide receiver following the departure of Golden Tate and Percy Harvin, any time somebody brought up Seattle's weak receiving corps, he took it personally. (Which explains that little outburst after the NFC Championship Game.) It didn't make it any easier that his girlfriend, Jennilynn DeJesus, is a better receiver than him.
Nah, just kidding. He's better than she is. She did play in the LFL for a while, though.
4. Doug Baldwin
Seahawks cornerback DeShawn Shead proposed to his gorgeous girlfriend, Jessica Martinez, in the middle of the CenturyLink field after a big win over the Broncos back in September. He had that Bruno Mars song "Marry You" playing on the PA system, and the words "Will you marry me Jessica?" on the video board behind the endzone.
She said yes. It was the sweetest thing you ever saw.
(Read more about it here.)
3. Jessica Martinez
The novelty of Tom Brady marrying the world's most famous Brazilian Victoria's Secret model may have worn off ages ago, but there's no denying it: 34-year-old mother of two Gisele Bundchen is still a total smokeshow. And you have to respect the way she sticks up for her man, too...even if it does involve throwing his teammates under the bus.
Of course, it's entirely possible that Gisele is bad luck. Since Tom started dating her in 2006, the Patriots are 0-2 in the Super Bowl.
2. Gisele Bundchen
Speaking of models, how about Marisa Ventura? She's a Ford model, which is a big deal in the fashion world. And she's been dating Seahawks wide receiver Jermaine Kearse for a pretty long time now. In fact, she really should have been on out list of Super Bowl XLVIII WAGs last year, but some how got left out.
We'll have to fire the guy who wrote it.
Anyway, Marisa is on Instagram and Twitter. You should probably follow her.
1. Marisa Ventura
Beautiful Women, NFL, super bowl, Super Bowl XLIX, WAGS,