Tiger Woods Is Taking a Break from Competitions Until He Stops Sucking
In case you haven’t heard, Tiger Woods sucks at golf now. Granted, he doesn’t suck at golf the way you or I suck at golf. But for a professional he sucks.
He missed a cut at the Phoenix Open back on January 30 after shooting a career worst 82. Then he withdrew from Torrey Pines after 11 holes because of “back stiffness,” which was probably really “golf suckness.” And who could forget his hilariously bad performance at his own charity tournament back in December, when he flubbed chip shot, after chip shot, after chip shot…after chip shot?
For all these reasons, on Wednesday Tiger announced on his website that he is taking a break from competitions to work on his game.
“Right now, I need a lot of work on my game, and to still spend time with the people that are important to me,” Tiger said. “My play, and scores, are not acceptable for tournament golf. Like I’ve said, I enter a tournament to compete at the highest level, and when I think I’m ready, I’ll be back”
Some news outlets initially reported Tiger’s “break” as a “leave of absence.” However, his agent bristled at the notion.
“Nowhere did we say it was a leave of absence,” Mark Steinberg rebutted. “He needs to work on this away from a public setting. He needs to work on this on his own… He’s not pleased with where his game is right now. He’s going to work on every single facet.”
Woods said he hopes to return for the Honda Classic, which starts February 26. However, he says if he’s not ready, he won’t play. And if that’s the case, then he won’t play the week after that at the WGC-Cadillac Championship, either, because he wouldn’t have qualified.
Good luck, Tiger. Let me know if you need any pointers. I shot a 93 one time, so I’m pretty good.
Hat Tip – [ESPN]