Brewers, D-Backs, and Rangers Are Taking Insane Ballpark Food to the Next Level (Pics)

brewers down wisconsin avenue brat ballpark food

If you’re looking forward to packing on a few pounds and maybe giving yourself a heart attack during the upcoming baseball season, I’ve got some good news for you. The Brewers, Diamondbacks, and Rangers are introducing a bunch of wacky new ballpark food options with astronomical calorie counts that are sure to clog up all your arteries.

First up, let’s talk about the food item you see there up above. Most of you can probably tell it’s some sort of encased meat product, and those of you with really powerful deduction skillz probably noticed the Milwaukee Brewers logos and assumed it was a bratwurst. Good for you!

What you probably couldn’t tell from looking at it is that this giant Bratwurst—officially called the “Milwaukee Avenue Brat”—is loaded with french fries, cheese curds, gravy, and sauerkraut, then topped with cheese sauce, jalapenoes, sour cream, and chives. So basically, it’s a brat topped with poutine and nachos.

There’s no official calorie count on this, but I’m sure the mathematician who comes up with one will win the Nobel Prize.

But let’s move on. Take a look at this:

brewers inside the park nachos ballpark food

That there is something the Brewers are calling the “Inside the Park Nachos.” It’s taco meat crusted with Doritos that is then deep-fried and topped with nacho cheese and sour cream. Or in other words, nachos on a stick.

Of course, the Brewers aren’t the only team cranking the stadium food insanity dial up to 11 this year. Check out this offering from the Rangers:

rangers chicken fried corn on the cob

Yep, it’s chicken-fried corn on the cob. And it’s hardly the only wacky ballpark food you can get if you visit the Ballpark at Arlington this summer. There will also be bacon cotton candy, candied bacon, and bacon-flavored beer.

Oh, and of course, the f#%&ing S’mOreo:

rangers deep-fried s'moreo

What is the S’mOreo? Exactly what is sounds and/or looks like: a s’more made out of Oreos, deep-fried, and drizzled with chocolate.

But wait, there’s more! Get a load of this dessert from the Diamondbacks:

diamondbacks churro dog

The D-Backs are following up last year’s $25 “D-Bat Corn Dog” with the “Churro Dog.” Obviously, it’s like a hot dog, but instead of encasing a variety of meat inside a bun, it’s a churro inside a donut, then topped with froyo, caramel sauce, and chocolate sauce. It’ll cost you $8.50, which works out to just .0076 cents per calories, because yeah, it’s 1,117 calories.


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Hat Tip – [Big League Stew]

Tags: arizona diamondbacks, ballpark food, Milwaukee Brewers, MLB, stadium food, texas rangers,