Sports fans love bobbleheads. Tell fans of a mediocre team with mediocre attendance that the first 20,000 people through the turnstiles will get a goofy looking statue and attendance will increase anywhere between 25-50%. (No really, I read it in the Wall Street Journal.)
Unfortunately, not all bobbleheads are created equal. Some are humorous likenesses of professional athletes. Others induce nightmares in small children.
Of course, I prefer the terrible athlete bobbleheads because, ultimately, they are more amusing. And I put together a list of terrible athlete bobbleheads to prove my point.
Take a look and tell me you’re not amused.
I bet you never realized how much Matt Kemp looks like drunk Derek Jeter, did you?
21. Matt Kemp
Congratulations, Landon Donovan. You're famous enough to have your very own bobblehead that makes you look like a hobo! What an honor.
20. Landon Donovan
Look, the brushable beard on this James Harden bobblehead is a nice idea. But come on, the rest of the face doesn't look anything like the guy.
19. James Harden
Maybe this one works better from other angles or something. But from this angle, this thing definitely does not bear a striking resemblance to Chicago Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews.
18. Jonathan Toews
Be honest: if I had obscured the number and the name plate on the base, would you have had any idea that this is supposed to be Bryce Harper?
You want to see a Bryce Harper bobblehead that actually looks like Bryce Harper? Check out this one. It's actually pretty amazing.
17. Bryce Harper
You know what, this one actually looks exactly like Larry Bird circa 1986. It even nails Larry Legend mullet.
Of course, the accuracy is exactly what makes this one so terrible. No offense to Celtics fans (or Larry Bird), but the guy looked pretty ridiculousin the 80s.
16. Larry Bird
Let's just forget about the fact that Dirk is wearing eyeliner and ruby red lipstick. What the hell is up with that facial hair? Dirk has had some pretty skeezy looks over the years, but I don't remember anything like this.
15. Dirk Nowitzki
Pudge Rodriguez was black? Who knew?
14. Ivan Rodriguez
Oh yeah, that's EXACTLY what Buster Posey looks like. Nailed it guys!
13. Buster Posey
Hey, is that Sammy Sosa in a Bulls uniform? No, it's Joakim Noah without the trademark facial hair and samurai bun.
12. Joakim Noah
Barry Zito returned to the Oakland A's organization in 2015 to pitch for the triple-A Sacramento Rivercats. And is it just me, or does Barry Zito's bobblehead make him look like Gary from Team America: World Police? (Rhetorical question: f#%& yeah it does.)
11. Barry Zito
Charles Barkley? No. Love child of Charles Barkley and Jamie Foxx? Absolutely.
10. Charles Barkley
I know Babe Ruth died almost 70 years ago, but he's the greatest hitter in baseball history and there are tons of pictures of the guy. You can't just slap his name on a statue of some random dude and expect people do buy it. Look at the skinny nose!
9. Babe Ruth
The bad news? That does not look likeAlex Ovechkin.
The good news? It does look exactly like Mike Modano.
8. Alex Ovechkin
Um, did they just paint one blue eye on bunch of leftover Jeff Kent bobbleheads? Because aside from the dichromacy, this looks nothing like Max Scherzer.
In fact, this is probably why Scherzer ditched the Tigers for the Nationals. That, and the hundreds of millions of dollars.
7. Max Scherzer
What the fudge, Sixers? Lou Williams' bobblehead looks possessed.
6. Lou Williams
Whoa, racist much?
5. Cleveland Indians Mascot
Everybody knows veteran NBA sharp-shooter Kyle Korver has a great head of hair. But come on, this Ken doll treatment was totally unnecessary.
4. Kyle Korver
You thought David Ayer took his inspiration for the new Joker from graphic novel The Killing Joke? Nope. It was this Steve Nash bobblehead. Just add green hair and a bunch of tattoos and it's a dead ringer for Jared Leto.
3. Steve Nash
Another case of repurposing old bobbleheads? Seriously, this one looks like they added a pink fur cape to a bunch of OJ Simpson bobbleheads.
2. Dennis Rodman
Take a good look at this one and see if you can figure out what's wrong with this bobblehead—aside from the fact that it looks absolutely nothing like Blue Jays and Phillies great Roy Halladay.
Do you see it? The ball and the glove are in the wrong hands. Halladay, a righty, should be holding the ball with his right hand and the glove with his left. As it is, he looks like a southpaw who's raising the wrong leg and looking the wrong way.
This truely is the most ridiculously terrible athlete bobblehead of all time. And it's amazing.