Detroit Lions Adding Cheerleaders…Because Nobody Wants to Watch Them Play Football Now that Megatron Is Gone

official detroit lions cheerleaders

Detroit Lions fans got some bad news in March when superstar receiver Calvin Johnson announced he was calling it quits after just nine NFL seasons. The Lions were never really all that good even with him in the lineup, but at least fans could go to a game with the reasonable expectation of seeing Megatron do something awesome. Now? Now they’ve got nothing.

Maybe that’s why the team owners have decided, after aaaaall these years, to finally add a cheerleading squad.

“The Ford Family is unwavering in their commitment to improving the Detroit Lions fan experience on and off the field,” says Detroit Lions Team President Rod Wood in the team’s official press release. “After thorough consideration and receiving input from our fans through season ticket member surveys and focus groups, we believe that this is an opportunity to elevate our game day entertainment.”

The press release then goes on to explain exactly what these so called “Cheer Leaders” will do for those fans who might not be familiar with the concept:

The team’s cheerleaders will perform choreographed dances and cheers as an integral part of the in-game entertainment. The squad will also have a presence in the community, appearing at various media, fan and sponsorship events.

The statement makes no mention about sexy costumes or swimsuit calendars. But we all know that’s part of the package.

Of course, as you may know, an unofficial, unaffiliated cheerleader squad called the Detroit Pride (Get it? A pride of lions?) has been entertaining fans at tailgating events since 2010. They have a swimsuit calendar and everything.

I guess the team finally decided that if anybody’s going to be making money off cheerleader swimsuit calendars, it’s them.

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