Johnny Manziel, Greg Hardy, and Other Terrible Human Beings Invited to the New Spring Football League
This April, a spring football league is kicking off as a sort of D-League for the NFL. However, the four teams (playing six games over a month or so) won’t just feature young talent that didn’t make the NFL, but also older stars who, frankly, don’t have anywhere else to go.
Kellen Winslow has signed up, as has notorious sociopath Greg Hardy. So the next step, naturally, was to ask Johnny Manziel to join. He hasn’t decided, but if he does join, he’ll have a nightly curfew and a drug test to kick off the season.
It could be a good idea…if these guys don’t all murder each other.
Here’s the letter they sent to Johnny:
Dear Mr. Manziel,
I wanted to reach out and personally invite you to participate in The Spring League for the 2017 season, which runs from April 5th through April 26th at The Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia. Four teams, consisting primarily of NFL veterans and younger talent, will play in a total of six games.
Our coaching staff includes Terry Shea, a renowned quarterback guru, and Mike Westhoff. We have an abundance of experienced NFL players that will be taking part, such as Kellen Winslow Jr., Greg Hardy and Jaylen Saunders. Moreover, we expect to have representation from all 32 NFL clubs to be in attendance.
In short, we believe The Spring League can provide you with the ideal forum to restart your NFL career. Accordingly, we would like to afford you with the opportunity to participate in the league. As a condition of your participation, you must agree to the following:
• You will be required to check-in with a member of our staff every night at 9:30pm.
• Undergo and successfully pass a drug test upon reporting to The Greenbrier on April 5, 2017 (to be administered by USADA).
We truly appreciate your consideration of our offer and look forward to the possibility of working together soon to get you back on the field. In the interim, please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions.
BRIAN P. WOODS