Andrew Luck wasn’t the only person to announce his retirement over the past few days.
In a letter posted to SI.com on Wednesday, the Twitter parody account, Capt. Andrew Luck, wrote an open address to the Colts that stated, “life on the family farm is just as I remembered,” and reminiscing on his days with his fellow soldiers.
Here’s the full quote:
Dearest friends —
I hope this letter finds you all well. Life on the family farm is just as I remembered. I have been up at the crack of dawn each day, sometimes crowing before the rooster. Oh, how he hates to be beaten. The hogs were so happy to see me, they could barely contain themselves in the pin. Dearest mother is in tremendous spirits. She was elated for my final return—all in one piece. She insists I pass along her well-wishes and assure you she fully intends to keep the unit stocked with batches of Squirrel Oil for your upcoming battles.
Oh, the times we had out on our campaigns through the years. I feel as though I was just a youth who hardly had two neckbeard whiskers to rub together when I first unholstered my sidearm. How we have all grown one hard-fought battle after another. From that frozen tundra to face the Horned Barbarians (I recall sleeping in a deer carcass to keep warm) to combating those painted Pirate Ruffians in their land without light. Then there were the Steel Men, who battled in a Pitt. And who could forget the orange Horsemen? Good thing we packed extra air since their land had so little.
Of course, we were hoodwinked by the deserter, McDaniels. But, that was serendipitous as it led to the appointment of the esteemed Gen. Reich.
We broke hardtack (and subsequently teeth) together, shared mother’s homemade goodies, such as spiced raccoon knuckles and sugared skunk thighs, as we stared up at the sky, imagining what it would be like to once and for all reach the great Bowl Valley. I, of course, plan on following your every move in the future, starting with your first battle against the Lightning Men in that formattable land: San Die Go. I will be first in line as soon as the papers are off the press with the latest news of your engagements. And I hope to get letters from time-to-time informing me of your adventures. Finally, I would be remiss if I did not tell you serving along each and every one of you was a joy and honor. We lost battles. We won battles. But we did it all together: one mighty unit.
While true I shall not be on the field with you physically, henceforth my spirit will always take the form of a Colt. And it will be with you as you hopefully make your triumphant march to Bowl Valley.
Allow me to leave you with this: Never have I seen such talent, courage and determination in the eyes of those around me. My resolve was strong because my belief in my unit’s abilities was unwavering.
You soldiers, your unit, is greater than the sum of its parts. Each one of you has the fearlessness, heart and grit to make a difference on the field. Yet, the group working as one wins the battle.
Please, take care of yourselves and one another.
It was called a farewell on social media, but it’s not clear if the actual account that has 540K followers will go away or continue on in a different path.
Luck announced his retirement Saturday, not willing to deal with the constant injuries and rehabbing that took away his passion for the game.