Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy went on a scathing rant against the New York Yankees, whose “torpedo bats” have become the new talking point across the majors.
The Yankees revealed their brand new “torpedo bats” during their 2025 season-opening series against the Milwaukee Brewers. The Bronx Bombers swept the visitors, racking up 36 runs in the three-game set.
That included a 20-run onslaught in Saturday’s blowout victory, a day that saw the Yankees club a franchise-record nine homers. Reigning American League MVP Aaron Judge had three homers and eight RBI in the win.
Dave Portnoy, a well-known Boston Red Sox fan, accused the Yankees of cheating in a furious rant on X/Twitter. Portnoy’s rant lasted 2:35 as he demanded Major League Baseball put a stop to it:
“The Yankees hired an MIT physicist to basically take wood from the other part of the bat – near the handle and label and put it in the sweet spot – making the sweet spot bigger. They did this because Anthony Volpe sucks and he kept getting jammed and sawed off. And they’re like, ‘how do we make him not suck. Let’s just make this bat called the torpedo bat, where basically if you swing and you make contact on the handle, get sawed off, it’s a home run.”
“If you get jammed and it’s a home run, that doesn’t mean you suddenly got better, that’s just some geek from MIT, some physicists ruining 100 years of baseball, or 200 years of baseball. Listen, if MLB wants to sit on their ass and not outlaw this torpedo bat then all the teams are gonna do it. And every game is gonna be 100-98 and there’s gonna be 3,000 home runs.”
Dave Portnoy also alleged that the Pinstripes “long history of cheating and being scumbags, and this is just the latest.”
Emergency Press Conference – Ban the Yankees Torpedo Bat Before it Ruins Baseball pic.twitter.com/LX1iDZ7wUg
— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) March 30, 2025
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It should be noted that contrary to what Portnoy and other angry fans are saying, the Yankees aren’t cheating whatsoever. What they’ve done with the torpedo bats is perfectly within the rules of Major League Baseball:
The Yankee Torpedo bat does not infringe on the rules for bats in MLB unless it is more than the 2.61 inches at the thick part. If they just shifted the barrell down, that's fine. The only thing is the note about the rules committee approving first. If they did, convo over. pic.twitter.com/kOjGRAivZR
— Scott Keene (@Scottykk88) March 31, 2025
And hey, at the end of the day, nobody said that the other 29 MLB teams can’t copy the Yankees’ savvy idea of creating torpedo bats. If Dave Portnoy’s Red Sox are unhappy with it, what’s stopping them from copying the Pinstripes?
Dave Portnoy’s Red Sox Are Off To Sloppy Start
While the Yankees are sitting atop the AL East with a 3-0 record, the Red Sox are looking to bounce back from an ugly 1-3 start. Boston won its season opener against the Texas Rangers on Thursday, only to drop the last three games of the series.
Also Read: Dave Portnoy Wants Texas A&M Basketball Player Sent To Prison Immediately
