American football is a special sport with a special culture — a culture of names that scream grit, toughness, and integrity. Every year, players join the ranks of the best the league has to offer in terms of intensity, but there is a special group that convenes annually. That group is the group of best football names.
These ten players join the ranks of T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Dick Butkus, and Ha-Ha Clinton Dix as the best names in the NFL entering the 2023 season.
Former first round pick Taco Charlton spent two seasons as a defensive end on Dallas’ line before taking one year deals with the Chiefs, Steelers, and Bears. Most recently, Charlton took a one year deal to join San Francisco’s depth chart with a base value of $1,080,000. With the first name of an excellent Mexican dish, Charlton can afford as many tacos as his heart desires with money made in the league.
He’s not Egyptian royalty, but the sixth year tight end is also looking to make $1,080,000 this season after signing a one year deal with the Colts. Brown has had an interesting career path, spending time in Oakland, Cleveland, Houston, Cleveland again, Houston again, and now the Colts.
Lamp was a second round pick in 2018 who spent three seasons with the Chargers, after which he signed a one year deal with New Orleans to join the offensive line rotation. After his contract expired in New Orleans, Lamp became a free agent. Lamp is now looking for a new home to shine his light on the offensive line.
The draft day meme is another member of New Orleans’ offensive line who crossed over with the Chargers. Clapp is also set to make $1,080,000 on the Los Angeles line, though his biggest impact will be remembered from his face and name being used as a reaction to attractive people on the internet.
Arguably the highest profile player on this list, Baker’s name is an alliteration for the ages. After requesting a trade with the Cardinals once contract negotiations stalled, Baker will likely have many suitors looking to bring him into their secondary.
Big boy Bigsby has a football name for the ages, especially as the workhorse for Auburn’s ground game. The rookie third round pick and former SEC running back has been called a sponge of knowledge by head coach Doug Peterson. I mean, who wouldn’t want a running back whose name is literally Tank? The powerback is sure to make an impact in Jacksonville just on name alone.
Another great rhyme name, New Orleans’ WR2 (or WR3 depending on Michael Thomas’s health) is entering his second year with a new jersey number and a new outlook. Twice last season, we had the pleasure of hearing Cris Collinsworth shout out Rashid Shaheed’s name on bomb touchdown passes from quarterback Andy Dalton.
I’m convinced the Chargers’ offensive linemen get hired based on name alone. Storm Norton is an excellent near rhyme that perfectly encompasses a force to be reckoned with. After one year with the Vikings, Norton has been a mainstay on the Chargers’ offensive line, starting double digit games in two of his three seasons with the team. Now, once again, the Chargers and Saints cross over offensive lineman as Norton signed a one year deal to join New Orleans for the 2023 season.
Carolina’s year three tight end has a name that should strike fear into the hearts and minds of opposing defenders. Tommy Tremble is not only an alliteration, but is also an all-time tight end name as he stands at 6’4, heads and shoulders over others. Entering his third season with the Panthers, Tremble will be looking to round out his rookie deal with a standout season to earn his next contract.
This is as clear and concise as a football name gets. For a cornerback, flying around the field like a wild goose is about as high of a compliment as one can receive. After one year deals with the Jets and Commanders, Wildgoose is back for a second contract in Washington. Starting his first game last year, Wildgoose will finally have an opportunity to break it big and make his name a household name beyond the funniness of it.
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